An Apple a Day...Keeps Satan at Bay

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away" is how the old saying goes, right? Apples are great for you and tasty too, but that's not what we're going to talk about today.

September 18 is International Eat an Apple Day, so in celebration of that momentous occasion, let's look at how an A.P.P.L.E a day can not only keep the doctor away, but also goes a long way toward keeping Satan at bay. Ironic, don't you think considering how many people attribute the apple with fouling Adam and Eve up so long ago in the Garden?

A--Adoration. The first step in keeping Satan from gaining a foothold with our kids is to adore them. Yeah, I know, we all love our kids, but I'm talking more than that. I'm talking about letting your child know s/he is the "apple of your eye". (Sorry, couldn't resist.) If you aren't head over heels about your child, really, who else will be other than probably Grandma. Teachers, coaches, friends--they all care about your kid, but none is as invested as you are and none will be there for the long haul. Find the stuff in your child you can adore--then let them in on the secret.

P--Prayer. We live in the middle of a battlefield whether we can see it or not. Prayer is the biggest weapon in our arsenal and we better get pretty liberal at pulling out this big gun. Cover your child in prayer or you leave him/her open to attacks from Satan.

P--Perspective. If you want your child to thrive in this life, you are going to need some perspective. What I mean is that first of all, you've got to get both an eternal and a long-term view of this parenting thing. You are going to have good days and bad days and days that make you question everything you've ever known to be true. Remember you are growing an eternal being and you are in it for the duration. Look at things with that attitude and today's struggles come into focus a little clearer.

I also mean you need perspective about your child's strengths and weaknesses. I know I just told you to adore you kid, but don't feed into their esteem so much that they can't recognize any faults in themselves. Help them learn the great and the not-so-great so they can become the people God created them to be.

L--Leadership. A sure way to protect your kids is to lead them well. This involves displaying patience when you want to scream, integrity when you want to fudge, strength when you want to buckle, wisdom when you don't have the answers, and grace in the face of adversity. By modeling the way things should be done, you lead your kids by example and they will often rise up to follow. Leadership is not a dictatorship or a democracy--you are the adult, act like it. Make the hard decisions, call the unpopular shots, and live out a life of character with each new situation.

E--Education. It is not the job of the school, the church, or the babysitter to teach our kids. We need to make the most of every opportunity to mold and shape our kids into people we will be proud to claim. That means using every moment to explain, challenge, disciple, and discipline our kids. Seize every chance to guide and direct their learning, whether it be academic, relational, spiritual, or emotional. We are the best teacher our child will ever have. Make the most of every moment you can grab with your son or daughter.

So, there you have it--an A.P.P.L.E. a day will keep Satan at bay. Grab some caramel sauce, an apple, and your kid, and get started today!

When Life Gives You Lemons...7 Steps for Making Lemonade

You've heard the saying: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. It means to take a bad situation and make something positive, something good of it. If you are a parent or if you are involved in ministering to others (and parenting really is a ministry), you know that some days working with people can get ugly. Here are some tips I've found that make parenting or ministry a little less like lemons and a little more like lemonade.

For many kids, their first (and maybe only) try at entrepreneurship (is that a word?) is setting up their own lemonade stand. One year during a garage sale, my kids and a couple friends sparked and idea. The kids thought they could use the captive audience to their benefit and set to work dragging their faded yellow and orange plastic picnic table to the driveway, constructing eye-catching crayon signs, and rounding up an assortment of plastic drinking glasses. They also arranged a small cooler with Twinkles, Ho-Hos, and Ding-Dongs to arouse the attention (and thirst) of unsuspecting shoppers. The deal was, they could keep any money they made, but they couldn't stalk the customers.

They did a fair business that day, aided by the sweltering heat, their cute faces, and their stellar salesmanship. It was fairly easy work too. They didn't have to purchase any of their wares, they made the lemonade with my powdered mix and my help, and they sampled the merchandise when business was slow. But thinking back on that memory, it reminded me that both parenting and  ministry are sometimes like making lemonade. But more often than not, it is more like making lemonade from scratch. Let's look at the seven steps in making lemonade and see what each step can teach us.

Step 1: Prepare your work area and yourself. You will need to gather your supplies and ingredients. For ministry this might include questions, a Bible, a lesson, notepaper. For parenting you will need questions, answers, a Bible, life lessons, natural consequences, and lots of money. You will need to prepare yourself by washing up. This might include spending time in prayer, learning how to hold your tongue, preparing some wisdom and knowledge, gaining a humble attitude.

Step 2: Gather some ripe lemons. The number will depend on the people to whom you are ministering. In a mentoring relationship you will need one. For parenting, a handful is adequate--I'll take three, please. In larger ministry settings, you could have upwards of 30 or even a couple hundred. It is important to note that the lemons must be ripe or you will not have success with your final product. You can't hurry the process.

Step 3: Prepare the lemons. To do this, first wash the lemons. In ministry this looks like bathing those little buggers in prayer. In parenting it looks like bathing those little buggers in prayer, and in, well, soap. Sometimes a little life-style ministry is effective too. You know, just getting into people's lives. The second part of prepping the lemons is to press them on the counter so they will release the most juice. This might look like it hurts the lemons, but it is necessary for the final outcome. In both ministry and parenting, this includes setting boundaries, applying discipline, and teaching. In parenting it may also include punishment.

Step 4: Add water to your pitcher. Without the water, the lemons would be too overpowering and bitter. For both ministry and parenting, a good dousing of the Holy Spirit will give the lemons just the right balance of tartness and refreshment.

Step 5: Add sugar. The sugar is the easy part. It's like icing on the cake, gravy on the biscuit. Sugar is all the stuff that is so easy to do in both ministry and parenting. It is the fun outings, the time spent investing in a relationship, the giving of gifts, the sharing of secrets, the good days of special memories and the not-so-good days of helping someone grieve. Sugar is inside jokes and on-going traditions. The fun stuff. Be liberal with the sugar.

Step 6: Cut the lemons and squeeze their juice. This step is easier when you've already taken the time to prepare the lemons. This requires getting right to the heart of the lemon, baring their cores, and then applying pressure so they give up every ounce of good that is within them. In ministry, this is when you ask the hard questions, take them to a new level, stretch them from their comfort zones, and teach them to give of themselves until they are empty. In parenting, this is when you help you children really know who they are with all the good, the bad, and the ugly of their hearts. When you ask the hard questions, stretch them to independence, and teach them how to be others-focused. This is the most dangerous of the steps. If you are not careful, you may cut yourself. Or you run the risk of not having prepared the lemons enough in advance and they squirt you in the eye. But, ministry and parenting can be messy business, so don't back down. Press on toward your goal, adjusting as necessary.

Step 7: Stir it all together and enjoy the fruit of your labor. Your job is now complete and you can sit back and relax or start a new batch of lemonade.

I'm sure there are many more days of sun and heat left in this summer for you to get started on making some refreshing lemonade. Just remember to follow the seven steps and your chances of ending up with a great glass of lemonade are high.

Rabbit Tales--Part 2

On Monday, I told you about acquiring Justice’s rabbits for 4-H. They were tiny little fur balls when we brought them home. Polish rabbits are small-sized; ours only made it to about 8-pounds. They have silky-soft fur, big, round, dark eyes, and tiny ears. The male, Midnight, sported pitch-black fur. His pen-mate was Clover, a chocolate color which consisted of rich brown and charcoal gray.

Midnight and Clover lived in our gardening shed all spring and summer. Justice feed them, emptied their poop pan, and worked with them to prepare them for showing. They were on a strict diet of measured rabbit chow and an occasional handful of greens or a half a baby carrot. Every so often, the kids would haul out the big dog kennel and let the rabbits enjoy an afternoon in the sun, amid the cool grass.

The rabbits were frightened at first, but after a few minutes, they’d warm up to the arrangement and hop lazily around their enclosure. But the kids could never venture very far from the cage, because, while the rabbits felt safe, the barn cats thought they looked good enough to eat. If the rabbits could have slipped through the bars, they would have been the main dish in a kitty potluck. Their boundaries gave them freedom and kept them safe from the harmful influences just waiting to pounce.

It’s like that with our kids too. We give them boundaries and in those boundaries, they have freedom. They know where the line is, and as long as they don’t cross it, they stay safe. But, like our little bunnies, there are those who are waiting and watching and seeking to harm them as soon as they get a chance. Evil people and ungodly forces are a real threat, so we stand guard. It is best if we can allow our kids the freedom to move about and wander on their own. We could hold Midnight and Clover on our laps in the backyard, but they would never experience the joy of cool green grass on their little bunny backs or relish the warm spring sunshine on their soft fur. Same for our kids; it is exposing them to the dangers around them that they learn how far to go.

We want to give our kids boundaries so they can grow and learn and explore in a setting of safety. They flourish when we give them opportunities to stretch their legs and “hop” around in environments with boundaries. We watch them and guard them for the forces that would seek to destroy. And in those times when we can’t protect them, can’t watch them, can’t possibly ensure their safety, we entrust them to the Master Bunny-Keeper. He always has it all under control.

Rabbit Tales--Part 1

The season for 4-H arrived with the robins and children and teenagers all around our farming community are  preparing to show their animals come July. For those of you not familiar with 4-H, it looks something like this:

Step 1: decide which animal(s) you want to show. The choices range from poultry to puppies, from hens to horses, from cats to cattle.

Step 2: select the breed and specimen you think will catch the eye of the judges. You find it through friends, word or mouth, or animal registries.

Step 3: bring your animal home to the shelter you’ve prepared ahead of time and begin carefully raising and training it. You measure its food to make sure it meets weight. You handle it so it will behave in the ring or on the judges' table properly.

Step 4: you attempt to keep yourself from falling in love with your animal because your goal is to not bring it back home from the fair. You want to sell it for the most money you can get, which usually means the critter you’ve spent hours on over the last few months will grace someone’s dinner table.

If you did your job right, you'll come home with a nice check in your pocket and several ribbons and medals to add to your scrapbook.

Justice decided last year that he would try his hand at raising rabbits. Actually, he first chose sheep, but (thankfully) that didn’t work out. We bought the pen, the food, and all the supplies. Then we purchased two just-weaned, Polish rabbits. I could make some jokes here, but that would be politically incorrect, so I’ll move on.

Anyway, I saw a parallel between 4-H livestock and parenting. I learned that, in a sense, we follow the same thought process for both endeavors. 

Step 1: decide to have children (as opposed to just being puppy-parents or borrowing your siblings' kids for the day).

Step 2: acquire your specimen. For some of us, ours come through biological means. Others will receive a child through adoption, guardianship, or the foster care system.

Step 3: bring home your child to the shelter you’ve prepared (the nursery). Begin the process of carefully raising and training him/her. You will give your child healthy food so they maintain an optimal weight. You will handle them lovingly and with kindness so they will behave properly. You will train them so that some day when they stand before the Judge, they will meet His scrutiny with flying colors.

Step 4: you attempt to keep yourself separated enough to keep from having your heart totally torn out when they are gone. You will not succeed, but you will still attempt to give them freedom and independence, because you know that goes with Step 3—it’s what they need to be healthy. Your goal is to come back from the fair (graduation or college or the wedding) without them. You won’t get any money—in fact you’ll be broke. And thankfully, they won’t become someone’s dinner. However, if you do your job correctly, they will grace others with their presence and you will reap the blessing of having taken a 7-pound bundle of need and helped turn him/her into a full-grown, contributing citizen.

Oh, yeah, and if you’re really fortunate, you’ll also get some ribbons and medals for all your hard work and effort. They will be a little while in coming, but you’ll recognize them because they’ll call you “Grandma” or “Grandpa”.