When Life Gives You Lemons...7 Steps for Making Lemonade

You've heard the saying: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. It means to take a bad situation and make something positive, something good of it. If you are a parent or if you are involved in ministering to others (and parenting really is a ministry), you know that some days working with people can get ugly. Here are some tips I've found that make parenting or ministry a little less like lemons and a little more like lemonade.

For many kids, their first (and maybe only) try at entrepreneurship (is that a word?) is setting up their own lemonade stand. One year during a garage sale, my kids and a couple friends sparked and idea. The kids thought they could use the captive audience to their benefit and set to work dragging their faded yellow and orange plastic picnic table to the driveway, constructing eye-catching crayon signs, and rounding up an assortment of plastic drinking glasses. They also arranged a small cooler with Twinkles, Ho-Hos, and Ding-Dongs to arouse the attention (and thirst) of unsuspecting shoppers. The deal was, they could keep any money they made, but they couldn't stalk the customers.

They did a fair business that day, aided by the sweltering heat, their cute faces, and their stellar salesmanship. It was fairly easy work too. They didn't have to purchase any of their wares, they made the lemonade with my powdered mix and my help, and they sampled the merchandise when business was slow. But thinking back on that memory, it reminded me that both parenting and  ministry are sometimes like making lemonade. But more often than not, it is more like making lemonade from scratch. Let's look at the seven steps in making lemonade and see what each step can teach us.

Step 1: Prepare your work area and yourself. You will need to gather your supplies and ingredients. For ministry this might include questions, a Bible, a lesson, notepaper. For parenting you will need questions, answers, a Bible, life lessons, natural consequences, and lots of money. You will need to prepare yourself by washing up. This might include spending time in prayer, learning how to hold your tongue, preparing some wisdom and knowledge, gaining a humble attitude.

Step 2: Gather some ripe lemons. The number will depend on the people to whom you are ministering. In a mentoring relationship you will need one. For parenting, a handful is adequate--I'll take three, please. In larger ministry settings, you could have upwards of 30 or even a couple hundred. It is important to note that the lemons must be ripe or you will not have success with your final product. You can't hurry the process.

Step 3: Prepare the lemons. To do this, first wash the lemons. In ministry this looks like bathing those little buggers in prayer. In parenting it looks like bathing those little buggers in prayer, and in, well, soap. Sometimes a little life-style ministry is effective too. You know, just getting into people's lives. The second part of prepping the lemons is to press them on the counter so they will release the most juice. This might look like it hurts the lemons, but it is necessary for the final outcome. In both ministry and parenting, this includes setting boundaries, applying discipline, and teaching. In parenting it may also include punishment.

Step 4: Add water to your pitcher. Without the water, the lemons would be too overpowering and bitter. For both ministry and parenting, a good dousing of the Holy Spirit will give the lemons just the right balance of tartness and refreshment.

Step 5: Add sugar. The sugar is the easy part. It's like icing on the cake, gravy on the biscuit. Sugar is all the stuff that is so easy to do in both ministry and parenting. It is the fun outings, the time spent investing in a relationship, the giving of gifts, the sharing of secrets, the good days of special memories and the not-so-good days of helping someone grieve. Sugar is inside jokes and on-going traditions. The fun stuff. Be liberal with the sugar.

Step 6: Cut the lemons and squeeze their juice. This step is easier when you've already taken the time to prepare the lemons. This requires getting right to the heart of the lemon, baring their cores, and then applying pressure so they give up every ounce of good that is within them. In ministry, this is when you ask the hard questions, take them to a new level, stretch them from their comfort zones, and teach them to give of themselves until they are empty. In parenting, this is when you help you children really know who they are with all the good, the bad, and the ugly of their hearts. When you ask the hard questions, stretch them to independence, and teach them how to be others-focused. This is the most dangerous of the steps. If you are not careful, you may cut yourself. Or you run the risk of not having prepared the lemons enough in advance and they squirt you in the eye. But, ministry and parenting can be messy business, so don't back down. Press on toward your goal, adjusting as necessary.

Step 7: Stir it all together and enjoy the fruit of your labor. Your job is now complete and you can sit back and relax or start a new batch of lemonade.

I'm sure there are many more days of sun and heat left in this summer for you to get started on making some refreshing lemonade. Just remember to follow the seven steps and your chances of ending up with a great glass of lemonade are high.

Rescue Me

"Remember when I drownded?" asks Jot anytime we are near a pond. His grammar is a little off and obviously, he didn't really drown--but he easily could have.

A few years ago, my extended family gathered at my uncle's house on a hot, July afternoon. We laughed, we ate, we talked, we ate, the kids swam and the adults, well, yes, we ate. A large sandy beach covered one end of the pond and Jot and Jewel played there all afternoon, building castles and wading out just far enough to scoop a bucket of water or to wash off the sand. Justice splashed and dove in the water with some of the older boys. My husband and I took turns sitting near the sand with the other adults who watched the fun.

The long afternoon wore on and soon it came time to go. I gathered up the dishes while my husband packed the folding chairs and blankets. A few people left and the last of the adults finished swimming and changed into dry clothes.

"Get him! Get him! He's going under!" My aunt's scream pierced the air and for a moment silence reigned. Then action and chaos everywhere. We all looked toward the pond and several people shed shoes and shirts on their way toward the water. In the middle of the dark water a small head bobbed up and then disappeared again. Jot!

The first to the water, my cousin's husband, made it to Jot just ahead of my husband. Matt passed Jot off to his daddy and climbed from the water--fully clothed. You see, Matt had just changed back into his clothes after spending the day in the pond with his children. While Jot sputtered and cried, Matt pulled his sopping billfold from his back pocket and spread the contents on the rocks to dry. The most surprising thing about Jot's rescuer is that he doesn't swim. We had discussed it earlier in the day that he never really learned to swim and didn't really like water. But, forgetting all that, he reached Jot and was able to shove Jot into the waiting arms of his daddy who stood at the edge of the sandy drop-off.

Later, the story came out: Jot, Justice, and a few other kids floated on a raft in the shallow end. But the breeze apparently blew the raft past the drop-off into deeper water. Someone bumped Jot off into water that was over his head. He told me, "I tried to keep my head out of the water, but I just couldn't do it."

Today, when my kids retell this story, they always end with "The guy who jumped in the water didn't even know how to swim!" We are all intrigued by people who act in heroic ways. We stand amazed when non-professionals go into a burning building, dive into dark waters, or risk personal safety to help another person.

But the truth God reminded me from that scary experience is that everyone of us can be a non-professional rescuer. Now, I hear you--Who, me? Yes, I'm talking to you. We each come with pre-programmed abilities and talents. Things we are good at that not everyone else can do well.

What do you have in your ability arsenal that could rescue someone today? Can you cook or bake or even call for pizza from memory? Then think about who's life you could bless today with a meal. Maybe a new mom, a family struggling with unemployment, or your neighbor whose husband takes chemotherapy this week?

Maybe you have a knack for organizing or decorating. Who is drowning around you that could benefit from a few hours of your help? The single mom down the street who is trying to decorate her new apartment on a budget after her husband left her with three small children? The young newlywed couple in your Sunday school class who just bought their first house and their parents live out-of-state?  Your friend who just started a small business and is struggling with all the tasks that need to be done each day?

Maybe you excel in managing your finances. Take a look around. Many people don't have the time or money to see a personal advisor, but just a few helpful tips from you could get them on a budget or started on investing or tackling a debt.

The possibilities are endless and they don't have to be connected with your "day job". But ask yourself what you have to offer and look around and see who needs a helping hand. You don't have to be a professional at it, but just dive in today and see who you can rescue.

I guarantee that not only will they be so thankful and encouraged by your help, but they will be even more pleased because you are willing to take a chance and wade into unknown waters to reach someone in need.