Jack Sprat could eat no fat.
His wife could eat no lean.
And so, between them both, you see
They licked the platter clean.
Every time we eat bacon and eggs at the Barcus house, that nursery rhyme bears out true in all it's splendor. Although Jack and his wife don't sit at my kitchen table, Justice, Jewel, and Jot do. You see, Justice only likes the meaty part of bacon; Jewel only the fat. So, they tear apart the crispy strips and trade for the part they like best.
And when I make hard-boiled eggs, Jewel only likes the whites and Jot goes for the yellow yolks. So, once again, the low-stakes bartering begins. "I'll give you my whites for your yellows," says Jot. And happily they go about downing their favorite part of the egg.
And when Jewel made the jump to ordering adult meals at McD's but still wanted the apple slices, it worked nicely to order Jot's Happy Meal with apples and then switch them out for the fries that came with Jewel's number 10 combo.
Lest you think they only do this with food (or that all we do is eat!), they also divvy up chores. Jot loves to feed the dogs; Jewel the cats. So they trade if assigned otherwise. They do it with notes for school, calling grandparents, driving the Gator. They've taught me a big lesson about strengths and weaknesses and being there to fill the gap for someone else.
You've heard that opposites attract--and it is often true. But, through my kids, God has shown me that He places people in families so that the strengths of one will bolster another and vice versa. Justice's penchant for caution have served Jewel and Jot well on several occasions. Likewise, their tendency to never see a stranger helps him break the ice when meeting new people.
I believe this lesson is not just applicable to personality, but also to spiritual gifts, talents, and abilities. When you find a talent, ability, or gift you possess, the very first place you need to use it is with your own family. Can you sing like an angel? Then bless your family at holidays or send your kids off to dreamland hearing your sweet voice. Do you have the gift of encouragement? The top of your list of targets needs to be your parents, spouse, and children. Can you teach a three-point lesson at the drop of a hat? Then bless others in your job, the community, or at church--but after you've worked your magic on those in your very own home.The possibilities are as endless as the gifts and abilities we possess.
So, take a look at yourself. What are you good at? How can you use your abilities with and for the people the closest to you? If you don't see how, just ask God. I promise He'll show you. It may be as simple as sharing a plate of bacon and eggs.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Getting Into Character: The ESFJ (Extrovert, Sensor, Feeler, Judger)
Today we continue our specific look at the sixteen types in the MBTI line-up. This is going to be so fun, because even if this is not your particular label, more than likely you will recognize someone you know and love revealed on the page. I need to let you know that this is NOT a professional opinion or blog—I’m just teaching you what I've learned over more than ten years of studying personality.
I’m not going to repeat my description of the dominant preferences and such, but if you haven’t been following along, go back and read the beginning of the first week’s post, which you will find under the April archives (The ESTP). I’ve highlighted the part you need to read in green, so you can easily catch up.
Last week we looked at the INTP's; those one-man or one-woman truth finders. This week we will change it up once more and look at the letter-opposite, the ESFJ. Read on to hear about those ESFJs and their Welcome Wagon approach to life.
Living Life with an ESFJ: If you live with or work with an ESFJ, you already know how they make you, and everyone else they encounter, feel welcome. ESFJs work toward harmony in every facet of their influence. They are known for being thorough and loyal. If an ESFJ tells you s/he will do something, you can consider it done. They follow through on promises and projects and they keep their word, or die trying. ESFJs are also proactive servers. They not only see needs that others sometimes miss, but they also respond, always helping out. They are also keenly aware of the needs of people and can be found working toward harmony on all fronts by taking into account how their decisions will affect those around them. ESFJs make people feel welcome, help keep people organized, and set priorities for bot people and organizations. Proponents of tradition, ESFJs have been called "faith preservers" for the rest of the personalities. Unlike some of the other types, ESFJs will accept the structure imposed by the culture--unless it goes against compassion or kindness.
Career/Service Area Choices for an ESFJ: Because of their organizational skills, ESFJs excel in jobs or volunteer positions where they are called on to develop a plan to get things done. They also tend to know the priorities of the organization, company, and people involved and can work to meet them. ESFJs make people feel welcomed so they will enjoy and find success at jobs/ministries dealing with hospitality or working with people facing life issues such as sickness, infirmity, incarceration, advanced age, and new circumstances such as a move or a new baby. ESFJs enjoy working in environments where people are conscientious, sensitive, and appreciative. They are warm and caring servers, able to make the people around them feel valued and welcomed. ESFJs enjoy passing traditions from one generation to the next, so often they are drawn to working with youth ministries or social organizations. Some occupations that often appeal to ESFJs include secretary/assistant, researcher, teacher, homemaker, career/occupational therapist, nurse, trainer, lawyer, or owning their own business.
Free Time for an ESFJ: ESFJs like to play only after work is completed. Often they enjoy activities that include other people. However, they will steal away to recharge and renew after many days of meeting the needs of others. Typically they don't enjoy doing things alone, so once they recharge, they will try to connect the activity to someone else. ESFJs enjoy the value-oriented aspects of living life and frequently get with others to discuss movies, books, community or family needs. ESFJs tend to participate in events, sports, or hobbies that are regularly scheduled. ESFJs enjoy spending their free time helping to keep tradition alive. They may host the family holiday dinners or plan the annual egg hunt, the visit to the Christmas light display, or the Fourth of July horseshoe match. ESFJs participate in community or church volunteer opportunities when they can.
Warnings for the ESFJ: Too much of any good thing can be a bad thing, so here are some things ESFJs need to beware of: One of the favorite phrases in the ESFJs vocabulary is "You should/ought to do...". ESFJs need to learn to let others talk and only give their opinion when asked for it. The constant giving of ESFJs can wear them out. They need to learn to recognize and take care of their own needs before they burn themselves out. This same tendency also affects their ability to get things done. Often ESFJs spend so much time focused on people that they fail to accomplish necessary tasks in their own life. ESFJs need to be careful not to caretaker so much that the other person becomes dependent on them. ESFJs are people-oriented, but sometimes have a tendency to share too much. Learn to keep some things to yourself. And ESFJs need to give themselves permission to question traditions and to let them go when they no longer meet a need of fulfill a purpose.
Spiritual Helps for the ESFJ: For ESFJs, tradition is king, so they often enjoy very traditional spiritual lives. But their desire to keep harmony and meet the needs of those around them can cause problems. ESFJs tend to ignore conflicts and to pour themselves out to the point of exhaustion. ESFJs sometimes have a skewed vision of God as judge and forget His other qualities. This can lead to feelings of shame and guilt. Their people-pleasing nature also opens them up to spiritual manipulation. However, often when they have been the victim of this, they learn to recognize it and won't let it happen again to themselves or others. ESFJs generally enjoy traditional Bible studies with a focus on practical applications. Their people-focus lends itself to ministries of evangelism and outreach. ESFJs typically enjoy retreats, especially those with a strong fellowship component and love ministries that allow them to infuse grace into the lives of others.
What Others Say about the ESFJ: If you are seeing a person emerge from this description, you know that they are warm, caring, and oriented toward people. ESFJs are adept at recalling facts and details. ESFJs are known to be sociable, sympathetic, tactful, and responsive to the needs of others. They can be described as harmonious and cooperative. They are deeply involved in the day-to-day struggles and triumphs of the people in their life. They are at their best in dealing with people in structured and organized ways, getting things done and doing it in a way that keeps the peace keeps tradition alive.
Okay, who do you know that is an ESFJ? Let me hear from you if you are!
Next week, we will change just the last letter and take a look at our friend the ESFP.
I’m not going to repeat my description of the dominant preferences and such, but if you haven’t been following along, go back and read the beginning of the first week’s post, which you will find under the April archives (The ESTP). I’ve highlighted the part you need to read in green, so you can easily catch up.
Last week we looked at the INTP's; those one-man or one-woman truth finders. This week we will change it up once more and look at the letter-opposite, the ESFJ. Read on to hear about those ESFJs and their Welcome Wagon approach to life.
Living Life with an ESFJ: If you live with or work with an ESFJ, you already know how they make you, and everyone else they encounter, feel welcome. ESFJs work toward harmony in every facet of their influence. They are known for being thorough and loyal. If an ESFJ tells you s/he will do something, you can consider it done. They follow through on promises and projects and they keep their word, or die trying. ESFJs are also proactive servers. They not only see needs that others sometimes miss, but they also respond, always helping out. They are also keenly aware of the needs of people and can be found working toward harmony on all fronts by taking into account how their decisions will affect those around them. ESFJs make people feel welcome, help keep people organized, and set priorities for bot people and organizations. Proponents of tradition, ESFJs have been called "faith preservers" for the rest of the personalities. Unlike some of the other types, ESFJs will accept the structure imposed by the culture--unless it goes against compassion or kindness.
Career/Service Area Choices for an ESFJ: Because of their organizational skills, ESFJs excel in jobs or volunteer positions where they are called on to develop a plan to get things done. They also tend to know the priorities of the organization, company, and people involved and can work to meet them. ESFJs make people feel welcomed so they will enjoy and find success at jobs/ministries dealing with hospitality or working with people facing life issues such as sickness, infirmity, incarceration, advanced age, and new circumstances such as a move or a new baby. ESFJs enjoy working in environments where people are conscientious, sensitive, and appreciative. They are warm and caring servers, able to make the people around them feel valued and welcomed. ESFJs enjoy passing traditions from one generation to the next, so often they are drawn to working with youth ministries or social organizations. Some occupations that often appeal to ESFJs include secretary/assistant, researcher, teacher, homemaker, career/occupational therapist, nurse, trainer, lawyer, or owning their own business.
Free Time for an ESFJ: ESFJs like to play only after work is completed. Often they enjoy activities that include other people. However, they will steal away to recharge and renew after many days of meeting the needs of others. Typically they don't enjoy doing things alone, so once they recharge, they will try to connect the activity to someone else. ESFJs enjoy the value-oriented aspects of living life and frequently get with others to discuss movies, books, community or family needs. ESFJs tend to participate in events, sports, or hobbies that are regularly scheduled. ESFJs enjoy spending their free time helping to keep tradition alive. They may host the family holiday dinners or plan the annual egg hunt, the visit to the Christmas light display, or the Fourth of July horseshoe match. ESFJs participate in community or church volunteer opportunities when they can.
Warnings for the ESFJ: Too much of any good thing can be a bad thing, so here are some things ESFJs need to beware of: One of the favorite phrases in the ESFJs vocabulary is "You should/ought to do...". ESFJs need to learn to let others talk and only give their opinion when asked for it. The constant giving of ESFJs can wear them out. They need to learn to recognize and take care of their own needs before they burn themselves out. This same tendency also affects their ability to get things done. Often ESFJs spend so much time focused on people that they fail to accomplish necessary tasks in their own life. ESFJs need to be careful not to caretaker so much that the other person becomes dependent on them. ESFJs are people-oriented, but sometimes have a tendency to share too much. Learn to keep some things to yourself. And ESFJs need to give themselves permission to question traditions and to let them go when they no longer meet a need of fulfill a purpose.
Spiritual Helps for the ESFJ: For ESFJs, tradition is king, so they often enjoy very traditional spiritual lives. But their desire to keep harmony and meet the needs of those around them can cause problems. ESFJs tend to ignore conflicts and to pour themselves out to the point of exhaustion. ESFJs sometimes have a skewed vision of God as judge and forget His other qualities. This can lead to feelings of shame and guilt. Their people-pleasing nature also opens them up to spiritual manipulation. However, often when they have been the victim of this, they learn to recognize it and won't let it happen again to themselves or others. ESFJs generally enjoy traditional Bible studies with a focus on practical applications. Their people-focus lends itself to ministries of evangelism and outreach. ESFJs typically enjoy retreats, especially those with a strong fellowship component and love ministries that allow them to infuse grace into the lives of others.
What Others Say about the ESFJ: If you are seeing a person emerge from this description, you know that they are warm, caring, and oriented toward people. ESFJs are adept at recalling facts and details. ESFJs are known to be sociable, sympathetic, tactful, and responsive to the needs of others. They can be described as harmonious and cooperative. They are deeply involved in the day-to-day struggles and triumphs of the people in their life. They are at their best in dealing with people in structured and organized ways, getting things done and doing it in a way that keeps the peace keeps tradition alive.
Okay, who do you know that is an ESFJ? Let me hear from you if you are!
Next week, we will change just the last letter and take a look at our friend the ESFP.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Bombs Away: Saturday is National Bomb Pop Day
Maybe you got yours at the ballpark during the seventh inning stretch. Or possibly you chased down the ice cream truck and shouted your order above the high-pitched clamor of music and other children. Or maybe your mom pulled a box from the garage deep freeze on long, sweltering summer nights. However you procured one, I imagine just about everyone of you has had a Bomb Pop. You remember--the cherry, lemon/lime, blue raspberry ice pop creation on a stick vaguely resembling a rocket. Yum. Makes me want one right now.
This time of year I get the opportunity to take all three kids with me to the grocery store most weeks. It is also the time of year that an assortment of items end up in my cart that have not been sanctioned. Popsicles top the list. My kids absolutely love Popsicles and ask for them every time we walk the frozen tundra otherwise known as the Frozen Foods section. You should hear them beg! They give me every sob story and proposition known to motherhood. God used their desire for Popsicles to remind me of an important lesson. We often don't realize what blessings we have until they are no longer there. The flip side is that we don't appreciate something until we've longed for it and had to do without it. You know the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"? Or the one that says, "You don't know what you've got until it's gone"? Popsicles are a perfect example of that.
Think about the hottest summer day you can remember. No breeze in the air, no shade to be found, and no central air. Maybe you have a fan, but it just shifts the hot, humid air across your dripping wet face. Now imagine a Bomb Pop. It cools your throat as the icy goodness melts its way down to cool you from the inside out. Your breath swirls around when you exhale, cooling your face. Ahhh...heaven. You appreciate the Popsicle all the more because of the heat you've experienced. It would not be nearly as welcome if it were a sub-zero winter's day.
Now apply that to most anything in life. Don't you appreciate clean sheets and your comfy bed after spending the night away from home? After hearing someone vent about their uncaring husband, aren't you just a little more thankful for the one you have waiting for you at home? When the baseball game gets rained out and you get an unusual free night with the whole family at home, don't you just relish the unscheduled time to watch a movie and eat a leisurely meal? There are so many other things that could fill in the blank. It is because of the difficulties ( not in spite of them) that we can truly appreciate and be grateful for the blessings that surround us.
What are you thankful for today that you might not appreciate if you didn't have the pain or the frustration or the inconvenience that preceded it? Peace, marriage, children, career, material comforts, friends, home, health--a Bomb Pop? Why not celebrate today by thanking God for all the good things He's given us. Then buy a box of Bomb Pops and share a few with the kids.
This time of year I get the opportunity to take all three kids with me to the grocery store most weeks. It is also the time of year that an assortment of items end up in my cart that have not been sanctioned. Popsicles top the list. My kids absolutely love Popsicles and ask for them every time we walk the frozen tundra otherwise known as the Frozen Foods section. You should hear them beg! They give me every sob story and proposition known to motherhood. God used their desire for Popsicles to remind me of an important lesson. We often don't realize what blessings we have until they are no longer there. The flip side is that we don't appreciate something until we've longed for it and had to do without it. You know the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"? Or the one that says, "You don't know what you've got until it's gone"? Popsicles are a perfect example of that.
Think about the hottest summer day you can remember. No breeze in the air, no shade to be found, and no central air. Maybe you have a fan, but it just shifts the hot, humid air across your dripping wet face. Now imagine a Bomb Pop. It cools your throat as the icy goodness melts its way down to cool you from the inside out. Your breath swirls around when you exhale, cooling your face. Ahhh...heaven. You appreciate the Popsicle all the more because of the heat you've experienced. It would not be nearly as welcome if it were a sub-zero winter's day.
Now apply that to most anything in life. Don't you appreciate clean sheets and your comfy bed after spending the night away from home? After hearing someone vent about their uncaring husband, aren't you just a little more thankful for the one you have waiting for you at home? When the baseball game gets rained out and you get an unusual free night with the whole family at home, don't you just relish the unscheduled time to watch a movie and eat a leisurely meal? There are so many other things that could fill in the blank. It is because of the difficulties ( not in spite of them) that we can truly appreciate and be grateful for the blessings that surround us.
What are you thankful for today that you might not appreciate if you didn't have the pain or the frustration or the inconvenience that preceded it? Peace, marriage, children, career, material comforts, friends, home, health--a Bomb Pop? Why not celebrate today by thanking God for all the good things He's given us. Then buy a box of Bomb Pops and share a few with the kids.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Shut That Door!
Happy Summer Solstice! In celebration of the longest "day" of the year, I sent the kids to bed early. They are so worn out from all we've already packed into summer even before summer arrived. So, we had an "at home" day and are calling it quits early tonight.
With all this warm weather, the air condition is getting quite a workout. The other thing getting a lot of use are the hinges on our doors. The kids go in and out about 5 ga-zillion times a day. The first thing Jewel does every morning when she gets up is to head to the barn and grab a kitten. She hauls the poor thing inside where she keeps it captive, wrapped in a blanket on the living room couch.
All three kids love to eat outside. Occasionally I'll get a glimpse of one of them high-tailing it out the door with an unsanctioned snack. And more often than not, when given the choice of eating at the table or taking it outside, they head for the great outdoors.
With all that running in and out, I find myself yelling, "Shut the door, the air's on!" more times than I can count. You know that saying, "If I had a nickel ..." well, yep, I'd be able to hire a professional doorman to stand there if someone would pay me for every time I had to utter that sentence.
Have you ever heard that Bible school ditty that goes, "Shut the door, keep out the devil. Shut the door, keep the devil in the night. Shut the door, keep out the devil. Shut the door, every thing's all right"? Every time I shout to the kids to shut the door, that song goes through my mind. But there is a strong lesson in that funny little song and God uses every slam of the kitchen door to remind me of it.
The first lesson is to be on our guard against the devil. He is a very real and present danger; and enemy not to be taken lightly. He needs to be shut out of our hearts, our lives, and our minds. He would like nothing more than to destroy our kids while they are young or to sneak in and gain a place of favor in their hearts and ruin their future. We must keep him on the outside, in the night, as the song says.
The other lesson God reminds me of using this song is that we are not powerless in the face of evil. Look at that phrase, "Shut the door". We can stand against the devil and his schemes. We are not sitting ducks--far from it. We have the ability to be proactive and intentional in keeping the devil away from us and our kids. How do you shut the door to the devil? Well, think about it this way: If Hitler showed up on your doorstep one evening during dinner, would you invite him in? Ask him to spend the night and bunk in your kids' room? Would you play his speeches on your iPod or run him propaganda films on your TV screen? I hope not!
I pray it's the same for you in keeping the devil out of your home and out of the reach of your children. Shut the door in his face when he comes ringing your doorbell. Don't allow his songs on your iPod. Turn the channel when shows that glorify him and his evil deeds come on the TV screen. Shutting the door on the devil may mean not allowing certain books, magazines, or video games. It may even come down to monitoring their friends.
I know there are some people who say that by keeping these things from our kids, that I am sheltering them too much; that I'm not preparing them for the real world. I guarantee they will have plenty of opportunities to learn life in the real world, but while they are young, it is my job to protect them. I keep the door shut to the other things I don't want infesting my home--scorching and humid air, bugs, bats, stray animals--and the devil.
With all this warm weather, the air condition is getting quite a workout. The other thing getting a lot of use are the hinges on our doors. The kids go in and out about 5 ga-zillion times a day. The first thing Jewel does every morning when she gets up is to head to the barn and grab a kitten. She hauls the poor thing inside where she keeps it captive, wrapped in a blanket on the living room couch.
All three kids love to eat outside. Occasionally I'll get a glimpse of one of them high-tailing it out the door with an unsanctioned snack. And more often than not, when given the choice of eating at the table or taking it outside, they head for the great outdoors.
With all that running in and out, I find myself yelling, "Shut the door, the air's on!" more times than I can count. You know that saying, "If I had a nickel ..." well, yep, I'd be able to hire a professional doorman to stand there if someone would pay me for every time I had to utter that sentence.
Have you ever heard that Bible school ditty that goes, "Shut the door, keep out the devil. Shut the door, keep the devil in the night. Shut the door, keep out the devil. Shut the door, every thing's all right"? Every time I shout to the kids to shut the door, that song goes through my mind. But there is a strong lesson in that funny little song and God uses every slam of the kitchen door to remind me of it.
The first lesson is to be on our guard against the devil. He is a very real and present danger; and enemy not to be taken lightly. He needs to be shut out of our hearts, our lives, and our minds. He would like nothing more than to destroy our kids while they are young or to sneak in and gain a place of favor in their hearts and ruin their future. We must keep him on the outside, in the night, as the song says.
The other lesson God reminds me of using this song is that we are not powerless in the face of evil. Look at that phrase, "Shut the door". We can stand against the devil and his schemes. We are not sitting ducks--far from it. We have the ability to be proactive and intentional in keeping the devil away from us and our kids. How do you shut the door to the devil? Well, think about it this way: If Hitler showed up on your doorstep one evening during dinner, would you invite him in? Ask him to spend the night and bunk in your kids' room? Would you play his speeches on your iPod or run him propaganda films on your TV screen? I hope not!
I pray it's the same for you in keeping the devil out of your home and out of the reach of your children. Shut the door in his face when he comes ringing your doorbell. Don't allow his songs on your iPod. Turn the channel when shows that glorify him and his evil deeds come on the TV screen. Shutting the door on the devil may mean not allowing certain books, magazines, or video games. It may even come down to monitoring their friends.
I know there are some people who say that by keeping these things from our kids, that I am sheltering them too much; that I'm not preparing them for the real world. I guarantee they will have plenty of opportunities to learn life in the real world, but while they are young, it is my job to protect them. I keep the door shut to the other things I don't want infesting my home--scorching and humid air, bugs, bats, stray animals--and the devil.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Getting Into Character: The INTP (Introvert, iNtuitive, Thinker, Perceiver)
Today we continue our specific look at the sixteen types in the MBTI line-up. This is going to be so fun, because even if this is not your particular label, more than likely you will recognize someone you know and love revealed on the page. I need to let you know that this is NOT a professional opinion or blog—I’m just teaching you what I've learned over more than ten years of studying personality.
I’m not going to repeat my description of the dominant preferences and such, but if you haven’t been following along, go back and read the beginning of the first week’s post, which you will find under the April archives (The ESTP). I’ve highlighted the part you need to read in green, so you can easily catch up.
Last week we looked at the INTJ's, those visionaries who devise a better way. This week we will change the last letter and how a preference for Perceiving rather than Judging can change a personality. Read on to hear about those INTPs and their contribution in helping the rest of us see truth.
Living Life with an INTP: If you live or work with an INTP you know they are on a one-person quest for truth. INTPs observe the world, looking for the flaws and pointing out errors in the things they see and hear, and in their search for truth can drive others crazy with their endless questions of "why" and "why not". Remember that they are not necessarily challenging you or being difficult--they want to know the answers and won't settle for less than the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Much of the INTPs processing goes on inside and may not be apparent to those on the outside looking in. They are reserved, detached, analytical, and skeptical. INTPs are quick thinkers who can readily point out the long-term consequences in a plan or idea, even when others can't see it. All this internal processing allows them to formulate systems, schedules, models, and frameworks concerning the world around them.
Career/Service Area Choices for an INTP: INTPs enjoy studying and coming up with solutions for complex problems, reviewing past programs and procedures to make them work efficiently and timely, and creating new programs after researching and developing them. INTPs will enjoy career and service environments that allow the to work alone, guard their privacy, and have the flexibility they need to work things out to their own satisfaction. INTPs enjoy setting goals and designing rewards for meeting them. INTPs will excel at conceptualizing new outreaches, ministries, projects, and programs, but don't expect them to show up voluntarily for meetings--they tend to avoid them if at all possible. Orderly and intellectual, INTPs enjoy working and serving in environments and with people who are like-minded. Some jobs or volunteer positions that appeal to INTPs include: scientists such as chemists and biologists, engineer, artist, consultant, writer, computers--specifically programming and systems analyst, lawyer, photographer, psychologist, researcher, and surveyor.
Free Time for an INTP: INTPs enjoy spending their free time in solitary activities like reading, watching television, thinking, or playing computer games. In fact, INTPs are often very computer savvy, so many of their leisure activities may revolve around a computer. INTPs also enjoy word plays and puns. When INTPs play or engage in free-time activities with others, they may not talk a lot or pay attention to details they don't deem necessary. They enjoy games of risk and strategy like Monopoly, poker, and bridge or sports like golf. They take their risk-taking penchant to new levels in some of their pursuits such as rock climbing where they can combine taking risks with the technical aspects of the sport.Often INTPs have a depth of interest that goes beyond many of the other types.
Warnings for the INTP: Too much of any good thing can be a bad thing, so here are some things INTPs need to beware of: INTPs easily see the flaws in a theory, program, or concept. However, they need to learn how to point these out and challenge co-workers, family, and friends in a positive way. Others often see the INTP as negative, a critic, and a skeptic and frequently the INTP is unaware of how they are truly perceived by other people. INTPs need to keep in mind that not everyone wants or accepts their critiques. Lighten up and learn to keep some of your opinions to yourself. Their strong leaning toward intellectualism can make them look down on people who show their in intelligence in ways other than "book smarts". Happy to remain alone in their thought world, INTPs need to be conscious of spending too much time alone and make an effort to connect to others in their life. Making the effort to "put yourself out there", particularly with friends and family will help stop small problems from becoming bigger.
Spiritual Helps for the INTP: For INTPs who want to deepen their spiritual life, they will enjoy the more intellectual aspects of their faith. Intellectually demanding Bible studies and time for reflection, prayer, and meditation will help the INTP grow and remain engaged in the nurturing of their faith. INTPs enjoy "working out their faith" in service and worship that allows them logical demonstrations and applications for what they believe. INTPs also enjoy and benefit from spiritual mentor relationship that includes accountability.
What Others Say about the INTP: If you know an INTP, likely you use words like logical, private, original, speculative, and precise to describe them. They often exude a low-key, laid-back personality, but if you challenge what they believe as truth, you will see their "hard as nails" side come out. INTPs enjoy mastering the complex and all their intuition, thinking, and perceiving will turn outward as they seek to apply the ideas and insights they've developed. INTPs are truth-seekers of the best kind--they share their findings with the rest of the world!
Okay, who do you know that is an INTP? Let me hear from you if you are!
Next week, let's change it up by switching every letter and take a look at the ESFJ!
I’m not going to repeat my description of the dominant preferences and such, but if you haven’t been following along, go back and read the beginning of the first week’s post, which you will find under the April archives (The ESTP). I’ve highlighted the part you need to read in green, so you can easily catch up.
Last week we looked at the INTJ's, those visionaries who devise a better way. This week we will change the last letter and how a preference for Perceiving rather than Judging can change a personality. Read on to hear about those INTPs and their contribution in helping the rest of us see truth.
Living Life with an INTP: If you live or work with an INTP you know they are on a one-person quest for truth. INTPs observe the world, looking for the flaws and pointing out errors in the things they see and hear, and in their search for truth can drive others crazy with their endless questions of "why" and "why not". Remember that they are not necessarily challenging you or being difficult--they want to know the answers and won't settle for less than the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Much of the INTPs processing goes on inside and may not be apparent to those on the outside looking in. They are reserved, detached, analytical, and skeptical. INTPs are quick thinkers who can readily point out the long-term consequences in a plan or idea, even when others can't see it. All this internal processing allows them to formulate systems, schedules, models, and frameworks concerning the world around them.
Career/Service Area Choices for an INTP: INTPs enjoy studying and coming up with solutions for complex problems, reviewing past programs and procedures to make them work efficiently and timely, and creating new programs after researching and developing them. INTPs will enjoy career and service environments that allow the to work alone, guard their privacy, and have the flexibility they need to work things out to their own satisfaction. INTPs enjoy setting goals and designing rewards for meeting them. INTPs will excel at conceptualizing new outreaches, ministries, projects, and programs, but don't expect them to show up voluntarily for meetings--they tend to avoid them if at all possible. Orderly and intellectual, INTPs enjoy working and serving in environments and with people who are like-minded. Some jobs or volunteer positions that appeal to INTPs include: scientists such as chemists and biologists, engineer, artist, consultant, writer, computers--specifically programming and systems analyst, lawyer, photographer, psychologist, researcher, and surveyor.
Free Time for an INTP: INTPs enjoy spending their free time in solitary activities like reading, watching television, thinking, or playing computer games. In fact, INTPs are often very computer savvy, so many of their leisure activities may revolve around a computer. INTPs also enjoy word plays and puns. When INTPs play or engage in free-time activities with others, they may not talk a lot or pay attention to details they don't deem necessary. They enjoy games of risk and strategy like Monopoly, poker, and bridge or sports like golf. They take their risk-taking penchant to new levels in some of their pursuits such as rock climbing where they can combine taking risks with the technical aspects of the sport.Often INTPs have a depth of interest that goes beyond many of the other types.
Warnings for the INTP: Too much of any good thing can be a bad thing, so here are some things INTPs need to beware of: INTPs easily see the flaws in a theory, program, or concept. However, they need to learn how to point these out and challenge co-workers, family, and friends in a positive way. Others often see the INTP as negative, a critic, and a skeptic and frequently the INTP is unaware of how they are truly perceived by other people. INTPs need to keep in mind that not everyone wants or accepts their critiques. Lighten up and learn to keep some of your opinions to yourself. Their strong leaning toward intellectualism can make them look down on people who show their in intelligence in ways other than "book smarts". Happy to remain alone in their thought world, INTPs need to be conscious of spending too much time alone and make an effort to connect to others in their life. Making the effort to "put yourself out there", particularly with friends and family will help stop small problems from becoming bigger.
Spiritual Helps for the INTP: For INTPs who want to deepen their spiritual life, they will enjoy the more intellectual aspects of their faith. Intellectually demanding Bible studies and time for reflection, prayer, and meditation will help the INTP grow and remain engaged in the nurturing of their faith. INTPs enjoy "working out their faith" in service and worship that allows them logical demonstrations and applications for what they believe. INTPs also enjoy and benefit from spiritual mentor relationship that includes accountability.
What Others Say about the INTP: If you know an INTP, likely you use words like logical, private, original, speculative, and precise to describe them. They often exude a low-key, laid-back personality, but if you challenge what they believe as truth, you will see their "hard as nails" side come out. INTPs enjoy mastering the complex and all their intuition, thinking, and perceiving will turn outward as they seek to apply the ideas and insights they've developed. INTPs are truth-seekers of the best kind--they share their findings with the rest of the world!
Okay, who do you know that is an INTP? Let me hear from you if you are!
Next week, let's change it up by switching every letter and take a look at the ESFJ!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Have a Salad and Wash the Windows--It's Vinegar Day!
Did you know that today is Vinegar Day? Maybe it is because spring gardens are full of greens in June and someone thought you should celebrate with a big salad topped with vinegar and oil dressing. Or perhaps revelers raise a toast as they scramble to use up these last few days of spring and it's requisite cleaning by mixing a little vinegar with water and adding it to a squirt bottle as a cheap and environmental-friendly window cleaner. Whatever the reason, June 16 is deemed Vinegar Day.
Have you ever heard the saying "You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar"? It is a cute way of saying if you want more friends (or suitors) you do it best by being sweet rather than acidic. This cute cliche reminded me of a time a few years ago when I asked the kids how to get a boyfriend or girlfriend and then recorded their answers. Jot didn't take part in the conversation, being too little, so I'm guessing Justice was probably about 6 and Jewel about 4.
Jewel lumped all her responses into a generic formula for both sexes:
*Always wear underwear.
*Use manners.
*Get someone like Jesus.
*Make sure they are funny, strong, and nice.
*If he is a boy, make sure he's handsome.
Here is what Justice said you needed to do if a girl wanted to snag a boyfriend:
*If you pick your nose--stop.
*Don't do very many burps.
*Do everything he says.
Here was his answer when I inquired about how to land a girlfriend:
*Use your manners.
*Chew with your mouth closed.
*Don't tell girls they are stupid.
*No sneaking food and no eating veggies right out of the refrigerator.
*No picking at your butt when she's right near.
They knew the concept of the old adage even though they'd never heard it. God taught me a lesson from their observations. God reminded me that even when it seems like it is going in one ear and out the other, my kids are listening to what I say. For the most part, the things they pointed out were really just parroting back the things I say over and over each and every day: "Chew with your mouth closed." "Wash your carrot before you eat it." "Make sure you put underwear on before you leave the house." "Choose to date and marry someone who loves Jesus." Even though they were years away from dating, they were listening and learning to what I said and what I thought was important.
Even though peers and the culture largely affect our children, studies still show that the number one influence on children and teenagers remains their parents. So, my friend, through the apparent selective hearing, the eye rolling, the sighing, the constant repeating--keep talking. Keep telling your kids what you value. Keep setting boundaries for them. Keep a standard of behavior that you expect from them. And remember to flavor it with a little honey every chance you get. Vinegar is good for salads, but as the proverb writer once said, "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."
Have you ever heard the saying "You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar"? It is a cute way of saying if you want more friends (or suitors) you do it best by being sweet rather than acidic. This cute cliche reminded me of a time a few years ago when I asked the kids how to get a boyfriend or girlfriend and then recorded their answers. Jot didn't take part in the conversation, being too little, so I'm guessing Justice was probably about 6 and Jewel about 4.
Jewel lumped all her responses into a generic formula for both sexes:
*Always wear underwear.
*Use manners.
*Get someone like Jesus.
*Make sure they are funny, strong, and nice.
*If he is a boy, make sure he's handsome.
Here is what Justice said you needed to do if a girl wanted to snag a boyfriend:
*If you pick your nose--stop.
*Don't do very many burps.
*Do everything he says.
Here was his answer when I inquired about how to land a girlfriend:
*Use your manners.
*Chew with your mouth closed.
*Don't tell girls they are stupid.
*No sneaking food and no eating veggies right out of the refrigerator.
*No picking at your butt when she's right near.
They knew the concept of the old adage even though they'd never heard it. God taught me a lesson from their observations. God reminded me that even when it seems like it is going in one ear and out the other, my kids are listening to what I say. For the most part, the things they pointed out were really just parroting back the things I say over and over each and every day: "Chew with your mouth closed." "Wash your carrot before you eat it." "Make sure you put underwear on before you leave the house." "Choose to date and marry someone who loves Jesus." Even though they were years away from dating, they were listening and learning to what I said and what I thought was important.
Even though peers and the culture largely affect our children, studies still show that the number one influence on children and teenagers remains their parents. So, my friend, through the apparent selective hearing, the eye rolling, the sighing, the constant repeating--keep talking. Keep telling your kids what you value. Keep setting boundaries for them. Keep a standard of behavior that you expect from them. And remember to flavor it with a little honey every chance you get. Vinegar is good for salads, but as the proverb writer once said, "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
ABC Gum and Other Sweet Lessons
Considering Justice's love affair with sports, we've spent a lot of time in gyms, bleachers, and open fields. Jot knows them all like the back of his hand. Spending hour after hour waiting for your brother to finish his last free throw, running play, or hat trick sends a little guy scouting for stuff to do. That's how Jot discovered that under every bleacher rests the discarded pink, green, or white glob of some one's gum. (Why people find it necessary to dispose of their gum in this way, I have no idea, but that is for another post.)
The joke in the parent/sibling cheering section we spend a lot of time with is that Jot has cleared nearly every bleacher of gum in a three county radius by the time he turned four. He saw nothing disgusting or wrong about finding ABC gum--you know, Already Been Chewed--and claiming it as his own. Actually he was not partial to bleachers. One night he found a barely-chewed piece in the trash can at church. When I realized what he'd done, I told him in no uncertain terms to get rid of the nasty piece of garbage N-O-W, Mister. Imagine my surprise ten minutes later when I observed from my seat across the dining room of the local McDonald's, his little 4-year old jaws chomping away on that pilfered piece of refuse . Since no one else sat in the area, I said to him from my chair, "I told you to throw that gum away."
"I did throw it away. Then I got it back out."
At this I got up from my chair to enforce the edict when I watched him wage a mental tug-of-war between obeying his momma or making a run for it. The devil on the left shoulder won, apparently, because as I came around the yellow plastic swivel chair, he made a break for the front of the restaurant. Unfortunately, the floors were slick with a combination of the grease that permeates everything in a restaurant and the snow that had melted from our shoes. Down he went, sprawled eagle on his belly, just as two elderly ladies rounded the corner. The force of the blow to his tummy shot the gum from his mouth, launching it to land just inches from the feet of the women who had stopped at the sight of the pint-sized man on the run. Jot army-crawled the remaining two feet that separated him from the escaped gum and scooped in unceremoniously back into his mouth.
"Oh, honey, yucky. Don't eat that now--it's dirty," said one woman. Oh, Granny, you have no idea.
So, when Jot turns his nose up at my tuna casserole or balks at choosing something green (besides the Jello) on the Chinese buffet, or complains that there is (one of our very own) dog's hair on his plate, I remind him of this story. If he can enjoy a piece of gum snatched from, not one but two trash cans, and a filthy fast food floor, he should be able to talk himself into eating anything.
June is National Candy Month and that got me thinking about some things in relation to Jot's fondness for all things sweet. Jot, just like his momma, is pretty good at justifying events or circumstances to fit his own wants, desires, and agendas. He calls a yucky piece of trash a treasure, but refuses to eat the good food I put in front of him. In Acts 10: 15, God tells Peter, "Do not call anything impure that God has made clean." If God says something is clean--it is. And if God says something is impure--it is. It isn't up to me to judge or even weigh in on the matter. God's the one who gets to decide.
But how many times do I look at a person and judge them to be clean or impure based solely on what I can see on the outside. Surely that cute gal in the full cotton skirt and flats is clean and the guy in the checkout in front of me with the leather and tattoos is impure, right? Or that older lady sitting in the sanctuary twenty minutes before service starts, she's clean, certainly. But that guy hanging around talking to the rough-looking lady at the gas station? Probably nothing but trouble. How often I look at the situation and size up in my own mind whether someone is clean or impure by my perception of a person or of events.
Or maybe it is something I want or something I want to do. I know in my heart that God says it is impure, but do I still, like Jot, buckle to the temptation and call it "clean"? Or how about the flip-side of that--when God asks me to do something, making it "clean" by default, and I run the other way, screaming "Unclean! Unclean!" (Remember Jonah's problem with God's calling him to those nasty Ninevites?)
In life and in all things that matter, God is the One who gets to perform the white glove test. He is the only Judge worth ruling whether something is clean or impure. What looks to us like gum from a trash can might be the sweetest reward if given the chance. And what we think is the tastiest candy this side of Willie Wonka's factory might just end up being ABC gum on the bottom of a wooden bleacher.
The joke in the parent/sibling cheering section we spend a lot of time with is that Jot has cleared nearly every bleacher of gum in a three county radius by the time he turned four. He saw nothing disgusting or wrong about finding ABC gum--you know, Already Been Chewed--and claiming it as his own. Actually he was not partial to bleachers. One night he found a barely-chewed piece in the trash can at church. When I realized what he'd done, I told him in no uncertain terms to get rid of the nasty piece of garbage N-O-W, Mister. Imagine my surprise ten minutes later when I observed from my seat across the dining room of the local McDonald's, his little 4-year old jaws chomping away on that pilfered piece of refuse . Since no one else sat in the area, I said to him from my chair, "I told you to throw that gum away."
"I did throw it away. Then I got it back out."
At this I got up from my chair to enforce the edict when I watched him wage a mental tug-of-war between obeying his momma or making a run for it. The devil on the left shoulder won, apparently, because as I came around the yellow plastic swivel chair, he made a break for the front of the restaurant. Unfortunately, the floors were slick with a combination of the grease that permeates everything in a restaurant and the snow that had melted from our shoes. Down he went, sprawled eagle on his belly, just as two elderly ladies rounded the corner. The force of the blow to his tummy shot the gum from his mouth, launching it to land just inches from the feet of the women who had stopped at the sight of the pint-sized man on the run. Jot army-crawled the remaining two feet that separated him from the escaped gum and scooped in unceremoniously back into his mouth.
"Oh, honey, yucky. Don't eat that now--it's dirty," said one woman. Oh, Granny, you have no idea.
So, when Jot turns his nose up at my tuna casserole or balks at choosing something green (besides the Jello) on the Chinese buffet, or complains that there is (one of our very own) dog's hair on his plate, I remind him of this story. If he can enjoy a piece of gum snatched from, not one but two trash cans, and a filthy fast food floor, he should be able to talk himself into eating anything.
June is National Candy Month and that got me thinking about some things in relation to Jot's fondness for all things sweet. Jot, just like his momma, is pretty good at justifying events or circumstances to fit his own wants, desires, and agendas. He calls a yucky piece of trash a treasure, but refuses to eat the good food I put in front of him. In Acts 10: 15, God tells Peter, "Do not call anything impure that God has made clean." If God says something is clean--it is. And if God says something is impure--it is. It isn't up to me to judge or even weigh in on the matter. God's the one who gets to decide.
But how many times do I look at a person and judge them to be clean or impure based solely on what I can see on the outside. Surely that cute gal in the full cotton skirt and flats is clean and the guy in the checkout in front of me with the leather and tattoos is impure, right? Or that older lady sitting in the sanctuary twenty minutes before service starts, she's clean, certainly. But that guy hanging around talking to the rough-looking lady at the gas station? Probably nothing but trouble. How often I look at the situation and size up in my own mind whether someone is clean or impure by my perception of a person or of events.
Or maybe it is something I want or something I want to do. I know in my heart that God says it is impure, but do I still, like Jot, buckle to the temptation and call it "clean"? Or how about the flip-side of that--when God asks me to do something, making it "clean" by default, and I run the other way, screaming "Unclean! Unclean!" (Remember Jonah's problem with God's calling him to those nasty Ninevites?)
In life and in all things that matter, God is the One who gets to perform the white glove test. He is the only Judge worth ruling whether something is clean or impure. What looks to us like gum from a trash can might be the sweetest reward if given the chance. And what we think is the tastiest candy this side of Willie Wonka's factory might just end up being ABC gum on the bottom of a wooden bleacher.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Getting Into Character: The INTJ (Introvert, iNtuitive, Thinker, Judger)
Today we continue our specific look at the sixteen types in the MBTI line-up. This is going to be so fun, because even if this is not your particular label, more than likely you will recognize someone you know and love revealed on the page. I need to let you know that this is NOT a professional opinion or blog—I’m just teaching you what I've learned over more than ten years of studying personality.
I’m not going to repeat my description of the dominant preferences and such, but if you haven’t been following along, go back and read the beginning of the first week’s post, which you will find under the April archives (The ESTP). I’ve highlighted the part you need to read in green, so you can easily catch up.
Last week we looked at the INFP's deep thoughts and strong feelings. This week we will change the last two letters and see what difference that makes between the INFPs and their INTJ friends.
Living Life with an INTJ: INTJs tend to be independent, solitary, insightful, planners and thinkers. In fact, some say the INTJ are the most independent of all sixteen types. Don't let their quiet and sometimes reserved manner fool you into thinking they are shallow. While they sit quietly on the outside, their quick minds are spinning, thinking up strategies and visions for making things better. INTJs want to make the world a better place by coming up with systems that challenge the way things are done, the way people think, and the status quo in general. Boundaries, and rules are important to INTJs, but they will establish them in their own way and with their own style. Visionaries, INTJs formulate possibilities for the future that often meet long-term goals, but don't always do so in traditional means. INTJs come up with novel ideas, new angles, and creative systems for getting things done in what they deem a better way. INTJs are their own person--they value individualism and they are confident in who they are as a person.
Career/Service Area Choices for an INTJ: Intellectual pursuit is important to the INTJ, so they will enjoy working in environments where people value knowledge and make informed decisions and develop strategies for the future. They will also enjoy serving in ministry or volunteer positions that allow them to plan long-range or develop new approaches. They are private people, tending to keep to themselves, so INTJs like to work alone in environments where they can think deeply and work on the big picture. The will likely balk at working with a team unless the team is coming up with a new and novel approach to a problem, situation, or long-held tradition. Outcomes are important to the INTJ, so they will need to keep that in mind when choosing careers or service opportunities. INTJ enjoy projects that involve extensive research and they may enjoy serving by developing spiritual education materials or curriculum for service organizations. Some careers that appeal to INTJs include: project managers, general managers, armed forces, clergy, counselor/spiritual coaching, designer, consultant, human resources, professor/lecturer/teacher/coach, computer systems analyst, judge/lawyer, photographer, researcher.
Free Time for an INTJ: Often INTJs choose their leisure activities by their long-term goals for themselves and what they think they should be doing. INTJs are often disciplined and organized in their pursuit of hobbies and free time activities. INTJs don't typical choose sports or hobbies that are fads. Rather, they often choose something and then stick with it for years. Frequently combining work with play, INTJs will often seek out pursuits that allow them both enjoy free time and further their long-range goals and aspirations.
Warnings for the INTJ: Too much of any good thing can be a bad thing, so here are some things INFPs need to beware of: INTJs like to keep their ideas to themselves, but they will gain the commitment and confidence of others when they open up. They are often seen by co-workers and family members as too harsh or cold. They need to consider how they are viewed by others and foster good relationships. Being quick thinkers causes INTJs to discount other's ideas if they reach them too slowly. Learn to be patient with people and really listen to their ideas. Let others help you instead of plugging away all on your own. Open up and share your thoughts, feelings, and personality with others. People will enjoy your fast thinking and innovative approach but you've got to show it to them. Remember that not all the other types see the future as you do, but that doesn't mean they are wrong. Learn to listen to people who may see things differently and admit when your view of the future is in accurate or out-dated. Share your vision, but cut them some slack if it doesn't excite them and be willing to take a fresh look rather than insist on your way. INTJs tend to view themselves as not being competent. Do your best and let go of what you can't change.
Spiritual Helps for the INTJ: As we've noted, the INTJ is very private and enjoys spending time alone. Therefore, they may benefit from periods of solitude for retreat. They typically enjoy time away in the outdoors or in sanctified settings. For this same reason, INTJs often grow spiritually through prayer, meditation, study, and reflection. Most INTJs will enjoy philosophical pursuits and seeking out their individual purpose in life. You will see the INTJ interact with other believers when they are given the opportunity to dialogue and debate their convictions and possibilities for the future.
What Others Say about the INTJ: Since the INTJ often keeps to themselves, others are often surprised by their deep thoughts and novel ideas when they are shared. They are quick thinkers and delight others when they choose to fore go their typical introversion and share their observations aloud. Logical, original, long-reaching visions, global thinking, demanding, critical, and determined are all words used by others to describe the INTJ.
Okay, who do you know that is an INTJ? Let me hear from you if you are!
Next week, let's change it up by switching the last letter. INTP's--you're up!
I’m not going to repeat my description of the dominant preferences and such, but if you haven’t been following along, go back and read the beginning of the first week’s post, which you will find under the April archives (The ESTP). I’ve highlighted the part you need to read in green, so you can easily catch up.
Last week we looked at the INFP's deep thoughts and strong feelings. This week we will change the last two letters and see what difference that makes between the INFPs and their INTJ friends.
Living Life with an INTJ: INTJs tend to be independent, solitary, insightful, planners and thinkers. In fact, some say the INTJ are the most independent of all sixteen types. Don't let their quiet and sometimes reserved manner fool you into thinking they are shallow. While they sit quietly on the outside, their quick minds are spinning, thinking up strategies and visions for making things better. INTJs want to make the world a better place by coming up with systems that challenge the way things are done, the way people think, and the status quo in general. Boundaries, and rules are important to INTJs, but they will establish them in their own way and with their own style. Visionaries, INTJs formulate possibilities for the future that often meet long-term goals, but don't always do so in traditional means. INTJs come up with novel ideas, new angles, and creative systems for getting things done in what they deem a better way. INTJs are their own person--they value individualism and they are confident in who they are as a person.
Career/Service Area Choices for an INTJ: Intellectual pursuit is important to the INTJ, so they will enjoy working in environments where people value knowledge and make informed decisions and develop strategies for the future. They will also enjoy serving in ministry or volunteer positions that allow them to plan long-range or develop new approaches. They are private people, tending to keep to themselves, so INTJs like to work alone in environments where they can think deeply and work on the big picture. The will likely balk at working with a team unless the team is coming up with a new and novel approach to a problem, situation, or long-held tradition. Outcomes are important to the INTJ, so they will need to keep that in mind when choosing careers or service opportunities. INTJ enjoy projects that involve extensive research and they may enjoy serving by developing spiritual education materials or curriculum for service organizations. Some careers that appeal to INTJs include: project managers, general managers, armed forces, clergy, counselor/spiritual coaching, designer, consultant, human resources, professor/lecturer/teacher/coach, computer systems analyst, judge/lawyer, photographer, researcher.
Free Time for an INTJ: Often INTJs choose their leisure activities by their long-term goals for themselves and what they think they should be doing. INTJs are often disciplined and organized in their pursuit of hobbies and free time activities. INTJs don't typical choose sports or hobbies that are fads. Rather, they often choose something and then stick with it for years. Frequently combining work with play, INTJs will often seek out pursuits that allow them both enjoy free time and further their long-range goals and aspirations.
Warnings for the INTJ: Too much of any good thing can be a bad thing, so here are some things INFPs need to beware of: INTJs like to keep their ideas to themselves, but they will gain the commitment and confidence of others when they open up. They are often seen by co-workers and family members as too harsh or cold. They need to consider how they are viewed by others and foster good relationships. Being quick thinkers causes INTJs to discount other's ideas if they reach them too slowly. Learn to be patient with people and really listen to their ideas. Let others help you instead of plugging away all on your own. Open up and share your thoughts, feelings, and personality with others. People will enjoy your fast thinking and innovative approach but you've got to show it to them. Remember that not all the other types see the future as you do, but that doesn't mean they are wrong. Learn to listen to people who may see things differently and admit when your view of the future is in accurate or out-dated. Share your vision, but cut them some slack if it doesn't excite them and be willing to take a fresh look rather than insist on your way. INTJs tend to view themselves as not being competent. Do your best and let go of what you can't change.
Spiritual Helps for the INTJ: As we've noted, the INTJ is very private and enjoys spending time alone. Therefore, they may benefit from periods of solitude for retreat. They typically enjoy time away in the outdoors or in sanctified settings. For this same reason, INTJs often grow spiritually through prayer, meditation, study, and reflection. Most INTJs will enjoy philosophical pursuits and seeking out their individual purpose in life. You will see the INTJ interact with other believers when they are given the opportunity to dialogue and debate their convictions and possibilities for the future.
What Others Say about the INTJ: Since the INTJ often keeps to themselves, others are often surprised by their deep thoughts and novel ideas when they are shared. They are quick thinkers and delight others when they choose to fore go their typical introversion and share their observations aloud. Logical, original, long-reaching visions, global thinking, demanding, critical, and determined are all words used by others to describe the INTJ.
Okay, who do you know that is an INTJ? Let me hear from you if you are!
Next week, let's change it up by switching the last letter. INTP's--you're up!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
All Pain, No Gain
I panted for breath, but I couldn't seem to pull enough air into my lungs. I pulled my fists into my chest, inhaling, then they rocketed forth on my exhale. I lost momentum and my opponent beat me around my face, my chest, my gut. No matter how hard I worked, I only landed an occasional punch. Hesitating a fraction of a second too long, my breath coming hard, she landed a full-on right swing to my mouth and I fell backward, eyes rolling back, and the referee counted off 1-2-3. A knockout. I guess I just wasn't cut out for Wii boxing.
I don't know if you've ever Wii boxed, but I did and I woke up with the sore muscles to prove it. How in the world could my body feel like it did when I hadn't even boxed a real match? How could pummeling something with no resistance but the air make me feel every sinew in my entire upper body? I had all the pain, but with no gain. I got knocked out. The only people who witnessed the match were a bunch of wobbly-headed Mii characters who didn't even have two hands to clap together. My boxing match, hard as it was, was pointless--a total beating of the air.
The lesson God reminded me in the aftermath of my Wii boxing experience was to work with all my might for lasting things--not just a pointless beating the air. In 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, Paul says, "Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified."
What is it today that has you beaten down? What are battling that has you knocked so low that you merely thrash at it with feeble arms? Maybe it is a relationship. Maybe it is a job. Maybe your role as mother, father, daughter, son, husband, or wife? Maybe it is a goal you've been working toward for far too long. Maybe a habit you want to start or one you wish to break. I don't know what your "race" is today, but I encourage you to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, take a deep breath, and run in such a way that you may win--not simply finish, dragging yourself across the finish line after they've rolled up the tape, but to win.
The scripture also tells us the trick to finishing strong--discipline. Fight the real fight. Run the real race. Box the real match.
I don't know if you've ever Wii boxed, but I did and I woke up with the sore muscles to prove it. How in the world could my body feel like it did when I hadn't even boxed a real match? How could pummeling something with no resistance but the air make me feel every sinew in my entire upper body? I had all the pain, but with no gain. I got knocked out. The only people who witnessed the match were a bunch of wobbly-headed Mii characters who didn't even have two hands to clap together. My boxing match, hard as it was, was pointless--a total beating of the air.
The lesson God reminded me in the aftermath of my Wii boxing experience was to work with all my might for lasting things--not just a pointless beating the air. In 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, Paul says, "Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified."
What is it today that has you beaten down? What are battling that has you knocked so low that you merely thrash at it with feeble arms? Maybe it is a relationship. Maybe it is a job. Maybe your role as mother, father, daughter, son, husband, or wife? Maybe it is a goal you've been working toward for far too long. Maybe a habit you want to start or one you wish to break. I don't know what your "race" is today, but I encourage you to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, take a deep breath, and run in such a way that you may win--not simply finish, dragging yourself across the finish line after they've rolled up the tape, but to win.
The scripture also tells us the trick to finishing strong--discipline. Fight the real fight. Run the real race. Box the real match.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Dodge Ball Litmus Test
Each spring at the kids' school the parent-teacher organization hosts a Family Fun Night. The highlight is the Dodge ball Tournament. Now, if you are like me, you still have nightmares of Junior High Physical Education class and violent games of dodge ball. The two P.E. teachers, one male and one female, would divide us into two teams, blow the whistle and then proceed to scale to the top of the bleachers where they would immerse themselves in conversation with the high school cadet teachers and leave the struggle of natural selection to play out on the hardwood floor below. I know anyone who ever wore glasses in middle school can still feel the pain of a rubber ball smashing your frames into the bony projections across the bridge of your nose. Ouch!
Well, this spring we settled into the bleachers in the gym along with a couple hundred other people to cheer on our favorite grade in the annual dodge ball contest. The rules were simple, if you were hit--you were out. If someone caught your ball in the air--you were out. You were to make your way to the sidelines and when the referee called "time" the team with the most players still standing won.
The children lined up, the whistle blew, and colorful balls filled the air, whizzing back and forth. We hooped, we hollered, and we clapped for every well-placed hit or expertly-timed catch. Several adults and high school students watched from carefully chosen vantage points, but they didn't catch every play. In amazement I watched as children who were clearly hit glanced around to make sure no one motioned for them to exit the floor and then just kept right on playing. If you've ever been hit by a dodge ball you know it is a "for sure"--you don't wonder if maybe it missed you. They knew they had been hit and yet they continued to stay in the game. The judges didn't see, but what these kids seemed oblivious too was the fact that about 200 other people did see.Their integrity played out in front of a live audience.
I must tell you that, even though my own kids were disappointed, each one left the game, abiding by the rules. I was proud of their ability to stick to the rules and Justice's team even came out on top as the SW Dodge ball Champs for the second year in a row.
The lesson wasn't lost on me. Every day we are in a contest. We dodge the rubber dodge balls of the Enemy of our souls. While the projectiles might differ, the contest is the same for both us and our children. The amazing thing is that there is a heavenly audience watching our fight take place too. A host of angels and demons observe whether we stick to the rules, whether we show integrity, whether we get out there and fight or just hover in the back trying not to get hit.
And in real life, the roles are reversed. While we fight the contest, our kids sit in the bleachers of life and watch. Even when we forget they are watching, they're there, observing, learning, and filing it all away.
So the next time you think something isn't a big deal...The next time you think nobody's watching... The next time you think it just isn't worth the effort to set it right...remember the people in the bleachers--watching.
Well, this spring we settled into the bleachers in the gym along with a couple hundred other people to cheer on our favorite grade in the annual dodge ball contest. The rules were simple, if you were hit--you were out. If someone caught your ball in the air--you were out. You were to make your way to the sidelines and when the referee called "time" the team with the most players still standing won.
The children lined up, the whistle blew, and colorful balls filled the air, whizzing back and forth. We hooped, we hollered, and we clapped for every well-placed hit or expertly-timed catch. Several adults and high school students watched from carefully chosen vantage points, but they didn't catch every play. In amazement I watched as children who were clearly hit glanced around to make sure no one motioned for them to exit the floor and then just kept right on playing. If you've ever been hit by a dodge ball you know it is a "for sure"--you don't wonder if maybe it missed you. They knew they had been hit and yet they continued to stay in the game. The judges didn't see, but what these kids seemed oblivious too was the fact that about 200 other people did see.Their integrity played out in front of a live audience.
I must tell you that, even though my own kids were disappointed, each one left the game, abiding by the rules. I was proud of their ability to stick to the rules and Justice's team even came out on top as the SW Dodge ball Champs for the second year in a row.
The lesson wasn't lost on me. Every day we are in a contest. We dodge the rubber dodge balls of the Enemy of our souls. While the projectiles might differ, the contest is the same for both us and our children. The amazing thing is that there is a heavenly audience watching our fight take place too. A host of angels and demons observe whether we stick to the rules, whether we show integrity, whether we get out there and fight or just hover in the back trying not to get hit.
And in real life, the roles are reversed. While we fight the contest, our kids sit in the bleachers of life and watch. Even when we forget they are watching, they're there, observing, learning, and filing it all away.
So the next time you think something isn't a big deal...The next time you think nobody's watching... The next time you think it just isn't worth the effort to set it right...remember the people in the bleachers--watching.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Getting Into Character: The INFP (Introvert, iNtuitive, Feeler, Perceiver)
Today we continue our specific look at the sixteen types in the MBTI line-up. This is going to be so fun, because even if this is not your particular label, more than likely you will recognize someone you know and love revealed on the page. I need to let you know that this is NOT a professional opinion or blog—I’m just teaching you what I've learned over more than ten years of studying personality.
I’m not going to repeat my description of the dominant preferences and such, but if you haven’t been following along, go back and read the beginning of the first week’s post, which you will find under the April archives (The ESTP). I’ve highlighted the part you need to read in green, so you can easily catch up.
Last week we looked at the ESTJ's take-charge attitude. This week we will change every letter and see if INFPs are really that different from their ESTJ friends.
Living Life with an INFP: Take a look in the title at the descriptors used for this personality: introvert, intuitive, feeler, perceiver. It should come as no surprise to anyone that INFPs are people who experience strong feelings, deep thoughts, and are extremely self-aware. INFPs in your life may often seem lost in thought. Their personality is deep waters. They are understanding, compassionate, caring people who focus on the personal. They hold deep convictions and very developed values.They seek to help others understand their values and ideals as well. INFPs are open to spirituality and are not put off by the mysteries of religion.INFPs are visionaries who see the future as full of possibilities and wonder.
Career/Service Area Choices for an INFP: In their careers and service choices, INFPs will be most happy in environments that are close to home, support a positive vision for the future, and are free of red tape, bureaucracy and competition. INFPs don't dwell on the details, but prefer to work and serve in areas where they can make the world a better place through fun and meaningful activities. They will find success in environments where they are allowed to be private and keep to themselves, where there is a spirit of harmony, and that have a personal focus. As workers or volunteers, INFPs are known to be calm, quiet, cooperative, flexible, and often artistic. Some occupations that frequently appeal to INFPs include: counselor, editor, consultant, teacher/trainer (especially English, fine arts), social scientist, writer/journalist, social worker, nurse, artist/actor, psychologist, designer, assistant, account/banker/economist, or clergy.
Free Time for an INFP: The leisure pursuits for an INFP may be difficult to distinguish from their work. They have a tendency to spend a lot of time researching their activities and spend a long time slowly building them, often returning to past hobbies rather than exchanging them for new ones. Their free time is often spent alone in things such as reading, gardening, and music. However, INFPs can be charming and outgoing when they want to be and their flexibility, humor, and gentleness make them popular to be around.
Warnings for the INFP: Too much of any good thing can be a bad thing, so here are some things INFPs need to beware of: focusing so much on the possibilities of the future that they fail to take into account other people's point of view or they get stuck in an idealized view of reality. INFPs shy away from criticizing others and sometimes tell people what they want to hear rather than what they need to hear. Their valuable insights go to waste when INFPs fail to share them with their friends, family, and co-workers. Leaning toward perfection may make INFPs procrastinate. They need to let go of the idea of getting it right and opt for getting it done. The tendency for INFPs to be so self-aware can cause them to be overly critical with the people around them. This criticism turns ugly especially when they feel their values are not being taken into account and can come out as illogical fault-finding in everyone around them.
Spiritual Helps for the INFP: INFPs will likely enjoy spiritual pursuits that allow them to process alone through prayer, meditation, reflection, and journaling. Often their worship will be embodied in an artistic fashion--music, writing, works of art. INFPs often enjoy spending time in worship, study, or praise with only one other trusted person or a small group. INFPs may be "giants of the faith" and are admired for their consistency in living out their values. They may work out their faith in helping others meet their spiritual or practical needs.
What Others Say about the INFP: INFPs are wonderful friends. They are harmonious, inquisitive, creative, have genuine concern for people, enjoy bringing people together, and are committed, devoted friends. Known as empathetic and loyal, they help the rest of us focus on what is important and lasting.
Okay, who do you know that is an INFP? Let me hear from you if you are!
Next week, let's change it up by switching the last two letters. INTJ's--you're up!
I’m not going to repeat my description of the dominant preferences and such, but if you haven’t been following along, go back and read the beginning of the first week’s post, which you will find under the April archives (The ESTP). I’ve highlighted the part you need to read in green, so you can easily catch up.
Last week we looked at the ESTJ's take-charge attitude. This week we will change every letter and see if INFPs are really that different from their ESTJ friends.
Living Life with an INFP: Take a look in the title at the descriptors used for this personality: introvert, intuitive, feeler, perceiver. It should come as no surprise to anyone that INFPs are people who experience strong feelings, deep thoughts, and are extremely self-aware. INFPs in your life may often seem lost in thought. Their personality is deep waters. They are understanding, compassionate, caring people who focus on the personal. They hold deep convictions and very developed values.They seek to help others understand their values and ideals as well. INFPs are open to spirituality and are not put off by the mysteries of religion.INFPs are visionaries who see the future as full of possibilities and wonder.
Career/Service Area Choices for an INFP: In their careers and service choices, INFPs will be most happy in environments that are close to home, support a positive vision for the future, and are free of red tape, bureaucracy and competition. INFPs don't dwell on the details, but prefer to work and serve in areas where they can make the world a better place through fun and meaningful activities. They will find success in environments where they are allowed to be private and keep to themselves, where there is a spirit of harmony, and that have a personal focus. As workers or volunteers, INFPs are known to be calm, quiet, cooperative, flexible, and often artistic. Some occupations that frequently appeal to INFPs include: counselor, editor, consultant, teacher/trainer (especially English, fine arts), social scientist, writer/journalist, social worker, nurse, artist/actor, psychologist, designer, assistant, account/banker/economist, or clergy.
Free Time for an INFP: The leisure pursuits for an INFP may be difficult to distinguish from their work. They have a tendency to spend a lot of time researching their activities and spend a long time slowly building them, often returning to past hobbies rather than exchanging them for new ones. Their free time is often spent alone in things such as reading, gardening, and music. However, INFPs can be charming and outgoing when they want to be and their flexibility, humor, and gentleness make them popular to be around.
Warnings for the INFP: Too much of any good thing can be a bad thing, so here are some things INFPs need to beware of: focusing so much on the possibilities of the future that they fail to take into account other people's point of view or they get stuck in an idealized view of reality. INFPs shy away from criticizing others and sometimes tell people what they want to hear rather than what they need to hear. Their valuable insights go to waste when INFPs fail to share them with their friends, family, and co-workers. Leaning toward perfection may make INFPs procrastinate. They need to let go of the idea of getting it right and opt for getting it done. The tendency for INFPs to be so self-aware can cause them to be overly critical with the people around them. This criticism turns ugly especially when they feel their values are not being taken into account and can come out as illogical fault-finding in everyone around them.
Spiritual Helps for the INFP: INFPs will likely enjoy spiritual pursuits that allow them to process alone through prayer, meditation, reflection, and journaling. Often their worship will be embodied in an artistic fashion--music, writing, works of art. INFPs often enjoy spending time in worship, study, or praise with only one other trusted person or a small group. INFPs may be "giants of the faith" and are admired for their consistency in living out their values. They may work out their faith in helping others meet their spiritual or practical needs.
What Others Say about the INFP: INFPs are wonderful friends. They are harmonious, inquisitive, creative, have genuine concern for people, enjoy bringing people together, and are committed, devoted friends. Known as empathetic and loyal, they help the rest of us focus on what is important and lasting.
Okay, who do you know that is an INFP? Let me hear from you if you are!
Next week, let's change it up by switching the last two letters. INTJ's--you're up!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Rescue Me
"Remember when I drownded?" asks Jot anytime we are near a pond. His grammar is a little off and obviously, he didn't really drown--but he easily could have.
A few years ago, my extended family gathered at my uncle's house on a hot, July afternoon. We laughed, we ate, we talked, we ate, the kids swam and the adults, well, yes, we ate. A large sandy beach covered one end of the pond and Jot and Jewel played there all afternoon, building castles and wading out just far enough to scoop a bucket of water or to wash off the sand. Justice splashed and dove in the water with some of the older boys. My husband and I took turns sitting near the sand with the other adults who watched the fun.
The long afternoon wore on and soon it came time to go. I gathered up the dishes while my husband packed the folding chairs and blankets. A few people left and the last of the adults finished swimming and changed into dry clothes.
"Get him! Get him! He's going under!" My aunt's scream pierced the air and for a moment silence reigned. Then action and chaos everywhere. We all looked toward the pond and several people shed shoes and shirts on their way toward the water. In the middle of the dark water a small head bobbed up and then disappeared again. Jot!
The first to the water, my cousin's husband, made it to Jot just ahead of my husband. Matt passed Jot off to his daddy and climbed from the water--fully clothed. You see, Matt had just changed back into his clothes after spending the day in the pond with his children. While Jot sputtered and cried, Matt pulled his sopping billfold from his back pocket and spread the contents on the rocks to dry. The most surprising thing about Jot's rescuer is that he doesn't swim. We had discussed it earlier in the day that he never really learned to swim and didn't really like water. But, forgetting all that, he reached Jot and was able to shove Jot into the waiting arms of his daddy who stood at the edge of the sandy drop-off.
Later, the story came out: Jot, Justice, and a few other kids floated on a raft in the shallow end. But the breeze apparently blew the raft past the drop-off into deeper water. Someone bumped Jot off into water that was over his head. He told me, "I tried to keep my head out of the water, but I just couldn't do it."
Today, when my kids retell this story, they always end with "The guy who jumped in the water didn't even know how to swim!" We are all intrigued by people who act in heroic ways. We stand amazed when non-professionals go into a burning building, dive into dark waters, or risk personal safety to help another person.
But the truth God reminded me from that scary experience is that everyone of us can be a non-professional rescuer. Now, I hear you--Who, me? Yes, I'm talking to you. We each come with pre-programmed abilities and talents. Things we are good at that not everyone else can do well.
What do you have in your ability arsenal that could rescue someone today? Can you cook or bake or even call for pizza from memory? Then think about who's life you could bless today with a meal. Maybe a new mom, a family struggling with unemployment, or your neighbor whose husband takes chemotherapy this week?
Maybe you have a knack for organizing or decorating. Who is drowning around you that could benefit from a few hours of your help? The single mom down the street who is trying to decorate her new apartment on a budget after her husband left her with three small children? The young newlywed couple in your Sunday school class who just bought their first house and their parents live out-of-state? Your friend who just started a small business and is struggling with all the tasks that need to be done each day?
Maybe you excel in managing your finances. Take a look around. Many people don't have the time or money to see a personal advisor, but just a few helpful tips from you could get them on a budget or started on investing or tackling a debt.
The possibilities are endless and they don't have to be connected with your "day job". But ask yourself what you have to offer and look around and see who needs a helping hand. You don't have to be a professional at it, but just dive in today and see who you can rescue.
I guarantee that not only will they be so thankful and encouraged by your help, but they will be even more pleased because you are willing to take a chance and wade into unknown waters to reach someone in need.
A few years ago, my extended family gathered at my uncle's house on a hot, July afternoon. We laughed, we ate, we talked, we ate, the kids swam and the adults, well, yes, we ate. A large sandy beach covered one end of the pond and Jot and Jewel played there all afternoon, building castles and wading out just far enough to scoop a bucket of water or to wash off the sand. Justice splashed and dove in the water with some of the older boys. My husband and I took turns sitting near the sand with the other adults who watched the fun.
The long afternoon wore on and soon it came time to go. I gathered up the dishes while my husband packed the folding chairs and blankets. A few people left and the last of the adults finished swimming and changed into dry clothes.
"Get him! Get him! He's going under!" My aunt's scream pierced the air and for a moment silence reigned. Then action and chaos everywhere. We all looked toward the pond and several people shed shoes and shirts on their way toward the water. In the middle of the dark water a small head bobbed up and then disappeared again. Jot!
The first to the water, my cousin's husband, made it to Jot just ahead of my husband. Matt passed Jot off to his daddy and climbed from the water--fully clothed. You see, Matt had just changed back into his clothes after spending the day in the pond with his children. While Jot sputtered and cried, Matt pulled his sopping billfold from his back pocket and spread the contents on the rocks to dry. The most surprising thing about Jot's rescuer is that he doesn't swim. We had discussed it earlier in the day that he never really learned to swim and didn't really like water. But, forgetting all that, he reached Jot and was able to shove Jot into the waiting arms of his daddy who stood at the edge of the sandy drop-off.
Later, the story came out: Jot, Justice, and a few other kids floated on a raft in the shallow end. But the breeze apparently blew the raft past the drop-off into deeper water. Someone bumped Jot off into water that was over his head. He told me, "I tried to keep my head out of the water, but I just couldn't do it."
Today, when my kids retell this story, they always end with "The guy who jumped in the water didn't even know how to swim!" We are all intrigued by people who act in heroic ways. We stand amazed when non-professionals go into a burning building, dive into dark waters, or risk personal safety to help another person.
But the truth God reminded me from that scary experience is that everyone of us can be a non-professional rescuer. Now, I hear you--Who, me? Yes, I'm talking to you. We each come with pre-programmed abilities and talents. Things we are good at that not everyone else can do well.
What do you have in your ability arsenal that could rescue someone today? Can you cook or bake or even call for pizza from memory? Then think about who's life you could bless today with a meal. Maybe a new mom, a family struggling with unemployment, or your neighbor whose husband takes chemotherapy this week?
Maybe you have a knack for organizing or decorating. Who is drowning around you that could benefit from a few hours of your help? The single mom down the street who is trying to decorate her new apartment on a budget after her husband left her with three small children? The young newlywed couple in your Sunday school class who just bought their first house and their parents live out-of-state? Your friend who just started a small business and is struggling with all the tasks that need to be done each day?
Maybe you excel in managing your finances. Take a look around. Many people don't have the time or money to see a personal advisor, but just a few helpful tips from you could get them on a budget or started on investing or tackling a debt.
The possibilities are endless and they don't have to be connected with your "day job". But ask yourself what you have to offer and look around and see who needs a helping hand. You don't have to be a professional at it, but just dive in today and see who you can rescue.
I guarantee that not only will they be so thankful and encouraged by your help, but they will be even more pleased because you are willing to take a chance and wade into unknown waters to reach someone in need.
Monday, May 31, 2010
June 1--Hug Your Cat Day
Okay, so tomorrow is Hug Your Cat Day. That caught my attention when I read it. Most animals don't enjoy hugging, but I've seen my kiddos hug cats--and also dogs, deer, ponies, frogs, and just the other night, salamanders.
But, there is just something innate in humans that makes us want to express our love and warmth for other living things by hugging them. Most domesticated animals tolerate hugging even though it goes against their natural inclinations. When a dog or cat hugs another dog or cat it has much different meaning, if you get my drift.
About five years ago, a kitten showed up out of the cornfield. A beautiful washed-out calico of light gray, white, and pale orange, she looked to be about four months old. Most likely she either wandered into the corn field and lost her way or her momma dropped her off there and left her to fend for herself. Either way, she hit pay-dirt when she found her way into our backyard. The kids named her Darla and she followed us everywhere, crying non-stop unless you petted her. She even followed us around the house, crying outside the window of whatever room we happened to be in at the time. Soon she adjusted to life in the barn and settled down. But one really annoying habit remained--her claws.
Outdoor cats need their claws to catch mice and birds and to fend off attacks from stray cats, coyotes, or dogs. They keep them razor sharp and don't realize the damage they can do, even in play or affection. If you don't pay attention quick enough to her pleas for a little lovin', Darla climbs up you to get in your face. In the summer when clothing is minimal, this makes for a mighty uncomfortable experience! Darla is not content to just sit at your feet and let you pet her. Like so many animals, she doesn't rest until she is literally face-to-face with you. If you make the mistake of picking her up, she hoists herself up--using those dagger-like claws--to push her nose right up yours.
Well, the summer that Darla came, Jot decided she would be his "girlfriend". He'd cart her around the yard, lie in the grass with her, swing her on the swing with him, and sneak her into the house to snuggle on the couch and watch TV. He told everyone that would listen that when he grew up Darla would be his wife. (I resisted the urge to tell him that I was pretty sure this was illegal. I hoped he would grow out of it--he has.)
I've told you before about Jot's objection to clothing, so it should come as no surprise to you that for most of the summer--at least when we are home--Jot typically wears only cut-off jeans and nothing else. The rest of us couldn't understand how this bare-chested little boy could haul this cat around all summer with nary a scratch on him.
One night, my hubby pulled in the driveway and noticed Jot, clad only in underwear, carrying Darla around the backyard singing to her. "Who ya got there?" asked hubby, shutting the barn door.
"My girlfriend."
"How come you are the only one who can carry that cat around and not get all scratched up?"
"Cause she loves me," replied Jot, rubbing his cheek on Darla's head.
"Why does she love you so much?"
"I give her cheese."
Apparently, all summer long, Jot had unwrapped the little cellophane-covered squares of cheese and fed them to his "girlfriend".
Do you have someone in your life that is "scratchy" to love? Maybe your teenager? Your boss? Your mother-in-law? The lesson God taught me through Jot's relationship with Darla is that love is worth going to extreme measures to get and to give. Through his little gift of cheese a few times a week, he had a fast friend for the entire summer.
There are people in our life that we are called to love. There are people in our life that are difficult to love. God says, speak the language of love that they understand. If you need to give them food (or other inexpensive gifts) to butter them up--give it. If they understand love as T-I-M-E--spend it. If they feel loved when you invest in them through acts of service--do it. If all they require from you is a loving and gentle touch--invest it. If they long to hear words of affirmation to feel loved by you--spill it.
It really doesn't matter if those aren't the ways you feel loved. It is about what they understand and what speaks to their heart. The love and affection you gain in return will make it worth your while. As my kids get older, I need to alter some of the ways I show love to them--at least some of the time. They no longer fit on my lap. They would die of embarrassment if I kissed them in front of their friends. And their feet are way to big and smelly to make me want to kiss them anymore. I may have to search harder for the "cheese" that will cement our relationship. But I know it'll be worth it. Get out there and hug a cat today!
What have you found to work with the scratchy people in your life?
But, there is just something innate in humans that makes us want to express our love and warmth for other living things by hugging them. Most domesticated animals tolerate hugging even though it goes against their natural inclinations. When a dog or cat hugs another dog or cat it has much different meaning, if you get my drift.
About five years ago, a kitten showed up out of the cornfield. A beautiful washed-out calico of light gray, white, and pale orange, she looked to be about four months old. Most likely she either wandered into the corn field and lost her way or her momma dropped her off there and left her to fend for herself. Either way, she hit pay-dirt when she found her way into our backyard. The kids named her Darla and she followed us everywhere, crying non-stop unless you petted her. She even followed us around the house, crying outside the window of whatever room we happened to be in at the time. Soon she adjusted to life in the barn and settled down. But one really annoying habit remained--her claws.
Outdoor cats need their claws to catch mice and birds and to fend off attacks from stray cats, coyotes, or dogs. They keep them razor sharp and don't realize the damage they can do, even in play or affection. If you don't pay attention quick enough to her pleas for a little lovin', Darla climbs up you to get in your face. In the summer when clothing is minimal, this makes for a mighty uncomfortable experience! Darla is not content to just sit at your feet and let you pet her. Like so many animals, she doesn't rest until she is literally face-to-face with you. If you make the mistake of picking her up, she hoists herself up--using those dagger-like claws--to push her nose right up yours.
Well, the summer that Darla came, Jot decided she would be his "girlfriend". He'd cart her around the yard, lie in the grass with her, swing her on the swing with him, and sneak her into the house to snuggle on the couch and watch TV. He told everyone that would listen that when he grew up Darla would be his wife. (I resisted the urge to tell him that I was pretty sure this was illegal. I hoped he would grow out of it--he has.)
I've told you before about Jot's objection to clothing, so it should come as no surprise to you that for most of the summer--at least when we are home--Jot typically wears only cut-off jeans and nothing else. The rest of us couldn't understand how this bare-chested little boy could haul this cat around all summer with nary a scratch on him.
One night, my hubby pulled in the driveway and noticed Jot, clad only in underwear, carrying Darla around the backyard singing to her. "Who ya got there?" asked hubby, shutting the barn door.
"My girlfriend."
"How come you are the only one who can carry that cat around and not get all scratched up?"
"Cause she loves me," replied Jot, rubbing his cheek on Darla's head.
"Why does she love you so much?"
"I give her cheese."
Apparently, all summer long, Jot had unwrapped the little cellophane-covered squares of cheese and fed them to his "girlfriend".
Do you have someone in your life that is "scratchy" to love? Maybe your teenager? Your boss? Your mother-in-law? The lesson God taught me through Jot's relationship with Darla is that love is worth going to extreme measures to get and to give. Through his little gift of cheese a few times a week, he had a fast friend for the entire summer.
There are people in our life that we are called to love. There are people in our life that are difficult to love. God says, speak the language of love that they understand. If you need to give them food (or other inexpensive gifts) to butter them up--give it. If they understand love as T-I-M-E--spend it. If they feel loved when you invest in them through acts of service--do it. If all they require from you is a loving and gentle touch--invest it. If they long to hear words of affirmation to feel loved by you--spill it.
It really doesn't matter if those aren't the ways you feel loved. It is about what they understand and what speaks to their heart. The love and affection you gain in return will make it worth your while. As my kids get older, I need to alter some of the ways I show love to them--at least some of the time. They no longer fit on my lap. They would die of embarrassment if I kissed them in front of their friends. And their feet are way to big and smelly to make me want to kiss them anymore. I may have to search harder for the "cheese" that will cement our relationship. But I know it'll be worth it. Get out there and hug a cat today!
What have you found to work with the scratchy people in your life?
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Getting Into Character: The ESTJ (Extrovert, Sensor, Thinker, Judger)
Today we continue our specific look at the sixteen types in the MBTI line-up. This is going to be so fun, because even if this is not your particular label, more than likely you will recognize someone you know and love revealed on the page. I need to let you know that this is NOT a professional opinion or blog—I’m just teaching you what I've learned over more than ten years of studying personality.
I’m not going to repeat my description of the dominant preferences and such, but if you haven’t been following along, go back and read the beginning of the first week’s post, which you will find under the April archives (The ESTP). I’ve highlighted the part you need to read in green, so you can easily catch up.
Last week we looked at the ENTJ's view of the world as one big event to plan or problem to solve. This week we will change just one letter and see if ESTJs are really that different from their ENTJ friends. Since we change the letter that deals in how we take in information, you will see they are similar in many of their characteristics, but they difference comes from how they know what they know. ESTJ's are take charge people who get things done.
Living Life with an ESTJ: ESTJs are adept at seeing the necessary steps to complete a project or solve a problem. They are masters at leading others in accomplishing set goals, often leading by their own example to dig in and help until it comes to completion. They excel in organization especially to enable themselves and others to meet day-to-day concerns. ESTJs are efficient, consistent, and can easily express themselves in clear, logical, objective ways. The ESTJs in your life will do what they say and are known for having their act together. Not only do they get things done, but ESTJs are able to anticipate problems along the way and can adjust for them. ESTJs also keep you on their toes with their constant need to have hard questions answered. ESTJs are task-focused do-ers who enjoy completing things to mark off their do-to list.
Career/Service Area Choices for an ESTJ: ESTJs will enjoy working or ministering in areas that are task-oriented, structured, organized, and include other hard-working people. They are often promoted to leadership levels because of their logical, practical, and effective use of times and resources. They tolerate changes but only if the change makes sense for the over-all goal and doesn't mess with their master schedule. They are comfortable making decisions and dealing with concrete facts. They get things done, using the policies, procedures, and politics of the workplace/environment to do it. Some occupations/positions that often appeal to ESTJs include: government workers, insurance agents/underwriters, judge, management, military personnel, police officer, sales representative, supervisor, technology teacher, accountant/auditor/banker, teacher, librarian, and consultant.
Free Time for an ESTJ: ESTJs prefer to complete their work before engaging in free time activities. Often they use their free time as a reward they've earned or in working toward a goal. ESTJs enjoy active pursuits so you will see them participating in sports or gregarious leisure activities or as spectators at events with lots going on. When they spend time with friends or family, they often organize the group into some organized game or sport. Male ESTJs frequently engage in hunting, fishing or golf. Women often send their time in pursuits where they can involve their spouse or children.
Warnings for the ESTJ: Too much of any good thing can be a bad thing, so here are some things ESTJs need to beware of: ESTJs are often accused to being inflexible. Often they make decisions quickly but then refuse to deviate from the original plan, even in the face of new information. ESTJs will do well to give themselves permission to change their mind. Their quick decision-making also causes them to set themselves up for future problems as they are often so focused on making a decision that they don't think ahead to any fall-out that may occur. ESTJs are skeptical and often look at people for what they can do to accomplish their goals. ESTJs must learn that they aren't always right and seek to discover the opinions of others. They may run over co-workers, friends, or family and need to learn to show appreciation and emotion when appropriate. ESTJs tend to be emotionally reserved, however, when too much builds up they blow their top, often at seemingly inconsequential things.
Spiritual Helps for the ESTJ: Because of their logical and practical approach to life, ESTJs can become legalistic. Their skepticism may lead them to doubt or refusal to believe what cannot be proven. Spending time in mediation and personal reflection may serve to bring wrong attitudes to the surface where they can be dealt with by the ESTJ. Spending time with those less-fortunate and really getting to know them may help ESTJ focus less on the "rules" and more on the "exceptions" and bring more empathy and less legalism. If they pursue answers to the tough questions rather than dismissing anything they don't understand, often ESTJs become people with rock-solid faith.
What Others Say about the ESTJ: Known for their ability to recall facts about reality, decide quickly, and get things done,ESTJs are born leaders. They deal in facts, logic, and practicalities. They are sometimes seen as rigid or inflexible when they set their mind on a course and refuse to change direction. They honor their commitments and want to help others do the same. ESTJs are systematic, structured, responsible, and conscientious.
Okay, who do you know that is an ESTJ? Let me hear from you if you are!
Next week, let's change it up by switching every letter. INFP's--you're up!
I’m not going to repeat my description of the dominant preferences and such, but if you haven’t been following along, go back and read the beginning of the first week’s post, which you will find under the April archives (The ESTP). I’ve highlighted the part you need to read in green, so you can easily catch up.
Last week we looked at the ENTJ's view of the world as one big event to plan or problem to solve. This week we will change just one letter and see if ESTJs are really that different from their ENTJ friends. Since we change the letter that deals in how we take in information, you will see they are similar in many of their characteristics, but they difference comes from how they know what they know. ESTJ's are take charge people who get things done.
Living Life with an ESTJ: ESTJs are adept at seeing the necessary steps to complete a project or solve a problem. They are masters at leading others in accomplishing set goals, often leading by their own example to dig in and help until it comes to completion. They excel in organization especially to enable themselves and others to meet day-to-day concerns. ESTJs are efficient, consistent, and can easily express themselves in clear, logical, objective ways. The ESTJs in your life will do what they say and are known for having their act together. Not only do they get things done, but ESTJs are able to anticipate problems along the way and can adjust for them. ESTJs also keep you on their toes with their constant need to have hard questions answered. ESTJs are task-focused do-ers who enjoy completing things to mark off their do-to list.
Career/Service Area Choices for an ESTJ: ESTJs will enjoy working or ministering in areas that are task-oriented, structured, organized, and include other hard-working people. They are often promoted to leadership levels because of their logical, practical, and effective use of times and resources. They tolerate changes but only if the change makes sense for the over-all goal and doesn't mess with their master schedule. They are comfortable making decisions and dealing with concrete facts. They get things done, using the policies, procedures, and politics of the workplace/environment to do it. Some occupations/positions that often appeal to ESTJs include: government workers, insurance agents/underwriters, judge, management, military personnel, police officer, sales representative, supervisor, technology teacher, accountant/auditor/banker, teacher, librarian, and consultant.
Free Time for an ESTJ: ESTJs prefer to complete their work before engaging in free time activities. Often they use their free time as a reward they've earned or in working toward a goal. ESTJs enjoy active pursuits so you will see them participating in sports or gregarious leisure activities or as spectators at events with lots going on. When they spend time with friends or family, they often organize the group into some organized game or sport. Male ESTJs frequently engage in hunting, fishing or golf. Women often send their time in pursuits where they can involve their spouse or children.
Warnings for the ESTJ: Too much of any good thing can be a bad thing, so here are some things ESTJs need to beware of: ESTJs are often accused to being inflexible. Often they make decisions quickly but then refuse to deviate from the original plan, even in the face of new information. ESTJs will do well to give themselves permission to change their mind. Their quick decision-making also causes them to set themselves up for future problems as they are often so focused on making a decision that they don't think ahead to any fall-out that may occur. ESTJs are skeptical and often look at people for what they can do to accomplish their goals. ESTJs must learn that they aren't always right and seek to discover the opinions of others. They may run over co-workers, friends, or family and need to learn to show appreciation and emotion when appropriate. ESTJs tend to be emotionally reserved, however, when too much builds up they blow their top, often at seemingly inconsequential things.
Spiritual Helps for the ESTJ: Because of their logical and practical approach to life, ESTJs can become legalistic. Their skepticism may lead them to doubt or refusal to believe what cannot be proven. Spending time in mediation and personal reflection may serve to bring wrong attitudes to the surface where they can be dealt with by the ESTJ. Spending time with those less-fortunate and really getting to know them may help ESTJ focus less on the "rules" and more on the "exceptions" and bring more empathy and less legalism. If they pursue answers to the tough questions rather than dismissing anything they don't understand, often ESTJs become people with rock-solid faith.
What Others Say about the ESTJ: Known for their ability to recall facts about reality, decide quickly, and get things done,ESTJs are born leaders. They deal in facts, logic, and practicalities. They are sometimes seen as rigid or inflexible when they set their mind on a course and refuse to change direction. They honor their commitments and want to help others do the same. ESTJs are systematic, structured, responsible, and conscientious.
Okay, who do you know that is an ESTJ? Let me hear from you if you are!
Next week, let's change it up by switching every letter. INFP's--you're up!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Rabbit Tales--Part 2
On Monday, I told you about acquiring Justice’s rabbits for 4-H. They were tiny little fur balls when we brought them home. Polish rabbits are small-sized; ours only made it to about 8-pounds. They have silky-soft fur, big, round, dark eyes, and tiny ears. The male, Midnight, sported pitch-black fur. His pen-mate was Clover, a chocolate color which consisted of rich brown and charcoal gray.
Midnight and Clover lived in our gardening shed all spring and summer. Justice feed them, emptied their poop pan, and worked with them to prepare them for showing. They were on a strict diet of measured rabbit chow and an occasional handful of greens or a half a baby carrot. Every so often, the kids would haul out the big dog kennel and let the rabbits enjoy an afternoon in the sun, amid the cool grass.
The rabbits were frightened at first, but after a few minutes, they’d warm up to the arrangement and hop lazily around their enclosure. But the kids could never venture very far from the cage, because, while the rabbits felt safe, the barn cats thought they looked good enough to eat. If the rabbits could have slipped through the bars, they would have been the main dish in a kitty potluck. Their boundaries gave them freedom and kept them safe from the harmful influences just waiting to pounce.
It’s like that with our kids too. We give them boundaries and in those boundaries, they have freedom. They know where the line is, and as long as they don’t cross it, they stay safe. But, like our little bunnies, there are those who are waiting and watching and seeking to harm them as soon as they get a chance. Evil people and ungodly forces are a real threat, so we stand guard. It is best if we can allow our kids the freedom to move about and wander on their own. We could hold Midnight and Clover on our laps in the backyard, but they would never experience the joy of cool green grass on their little bunny backs or relish the warm spring sunshine on their soft fur. Same for our kids; it is exposing them to the dangers around them that they learn how far to go.
We want to give our kids boundaries so they can grow and learn and explore in a setting of safety. They flourish when we give them opportunities to stretch their legs and “hop” around in environments with boundaries. We watch them and guard them for the forces that would seek to destroy. And in those times when we can’t protect them, can’t watch them, can’t possibly ensure their safety, we entrust them to the Master Bunny-Keeper. He always has it all under control.
Midnight and Clover lived in our gardening shed all spring and summer. Justice feed them, emptied their poop pan, and worked with them to prepare them for showing. They were on a strict diet of measured rabbit chow and an occasional handful of greens or a half a baby carrot. Every so often, the kids would haul out the big dog kennel and let the rabbits enjoy an afternoon in the sun, amid the cool grass.
The rabbits were frightened at first, but after a few minutes, they’d warm up to the arrangement and hop lazily around their enclosure. But the kids could never venture very far from the cage, because, while the rabbits felt safe, the barn cats thought they looked good enough to eat. If the rabbits could have slipped through the bars, they would have been the main dish in a kitty potluck. Their boundaries gave them freedom and kept them safe from the harmful influences just waiting to pounce.
It’s like that with our kids too. We give them boundaries and in those boundaries, they have freedom. They know where the line is, and as long as they don’t cross it, they stay safe. But, like our little bunnies, there are those who are waiting and watching and seeking to harm them as soon as they get a chance. Evil people and ungodly forces are a real threat, so we stand guard. It is best if we can allow our kids the freedom to move about and wander on their own. We could hold Midnight and Clover on our laps in the backyard, but they would never experience the joy of cool green grass on their little bunny backs or relish the warm spring sunshine on their soft fur. Same for our kids; it is exposing them to the dangers around them that they learn how far to go.
We want to give our kids boundaries so they can grow and learn and explore in a setting of safety. They flourish when we give them opportunities to stretch their legs and “hop” around in environments with boundaries. We watch them and guard them for the forces that would seek to destroy. And in those times when we can’t protect them, can’t watch them, can’t possibly ensure their safety, we entrust them to the Master Bunny-Keeper. He always has it all under control.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Rabbit Tales--Part 1
The season for 4-H arrived with the robins and children and teenagers all around our farming community are preparing to show their animals come July. For those of you not familiar with 4-H, it looks something like this:
Step 1: decide which animal(s) you want to show. The choices range from poultry to puppies, from hens to horses, from cats to cattle.
Step 2: select the breed and specimen you think will catch the eye of the judges. You find it through friends, word or mouth, or animal registries.
Step 3: bring your animal home to the shelter you’ve prepared ahead of time and begin carefully raising and training it. You measure its food to make sure it meets weight. You handle it so it will behave in the ring or on the judges' table properly.
Step 4: you attempt to keep yourself from falling in love with your animal because your goal is to not bring it back home from the fair. You want to sell it for the most money you can get, which usually means the critter you’ve spent hours on over the last few months will grace someone’s dinner table.
If you did your job right, you'll come home with a nice check in your pocket and several ribbons and medals to add to your scrapbook.
Justice decided last year that he would try his hand at raising rabbits. Actually, he first chose sheep, but (thankfully) that didn’t work out. We bought the pen, the food, and all the supplies. Then we purchased two just-weaned, Polish rabbits. I could make some jokes here, but that would be politically incorrect, so I’ll move on.
Anyway, I saw a parallel between 4-H livestock and parenting. I learned that, in a sense, we follow the same thought process for both endeavors.
Step 1: decide to have children (as opposed to just being puppy-parents or borrowing your siblings' kids for the day).
Step 2: acquire your specimen. For some of us, ours come through biological means. Others will receive a child through adoption, guardianship, or the foster care system.
Step 3: bring home your child to the shelter you’ve prepared (the nursery). Begin the process of carefully raising and training him/her. You will give your child healthy food so they maintain an optimal weight. You will handle them lovingly and with kindness so they will behave properly. You will train them so that some day when they stand before the Judge, they will meet His scrutiny with flying colors.
Step 4: you attempt to keep yourself separated enough to keep from having your heart totally torn out when they are gone. You will not succeed, but you will still attempt to give them freedom and independence, because you know that goes with Step 3—it’s what they need to be healthy. Your goal is to come back from the fair (graduation or college or the wedding) without them. You won’t get any money—in fact you’ll be broke. And thankfully, they won’t become someone’s dinner. However, if you do your job correctly, they will grace others with their presence and you will reap the blessing of having taken a 7-pound bundle of need and helped turn him/her into a full-grown, contributing citizen.
Oh, yeah, and if you’re really fortunate, you’ll also get some ribbons and medals for all your hard work and effort. They will be a little while in coming, but you’ll recognize them because they’ll call you “Grandma” or “Grandpa”.
Step 1: decide which animal(s) you want to show. The choices range from poultry to puppies, from hens to horses, from cats to cattle.
Step 2: select the breed and specimen you think will catch the eye of the judges. You find it through friends, word or mouth, or animal registries.
Step 3: bring your animal home to the shelter you’ve prepared ahead of time and begin carefully raising and training it. You measure its food to make sure it meets weight. You handle it so it will behave in the ring or on the judges' table properly.
Step 4: you attempt to keep yourself from falling in love with your animal because your goal is to not bring it back home from the fair. You want to sell it for the most money you can get, which usually means the critter you’ve spent hours on over the last few months will grace someone’s dinner table.
If you did your job right, you'll come home with a nice check in your pocket and several ribbons and medals to add to your scrapbook.
Justice decided last year that he would try his hand at raising rabbits. Actually, he first chose sheep, but (thankfully) that didn’t work out. We bought the pen, the food, and all the supplies. Then we purchased two just-weaned, Polish rabbits. I could make some jokes here, but that would be politically incorrect, so I’ll move on.
Anyway, I saw a parallel between 4-H livestock and parenting. I learned that, in a sense, we follow the same thought process for both endeavors.
Step 1: decide to have children (as opposed to just being puppy-parents or borrowing your siblings' kids for the day).
Step 2: acquire your specimen. For some of us, ours come through biological means. Others will receive a child through adoption, guardianship, or the foster care system.
Step 3: bring home your child to the shelter you’ve prepared (the nursery). Begin the process of carefully raising and training him/her. You will give your child healthy food so they maintain an optimal weight. You will handle them lovingly and with kindness so they will behave properly. You will train them so that some day when they stand before the Judge, they will meet His scrutiny with flying colors.
Step 4: you attempt to keep yourself separated enough to keep from having your heart totally torn out when they are gone. You will not succeed, but you will still attempt to give them freedom and independence, because you know that goes with Step 3—it’s what they need to be healthy. Your goal is to come back from the fair (graduation or college or the wedding) without them. You won’t get any money—in fact you’ll be broke. And thankfully, they won’t become someone’s dinner. However, if you do your job correctly, they will grace others with their presence and you will reap the blessing of having taken a 7-pound bundle of need and helped turn him/her into a full-grown, contributing citizen.
Oh, yeah, and if you’re really fortunate, you’ll also get some ribbons and medals for all your hard work and effort. They will be a little while in coming, but you’ll recognize them because they’ll call you “Grandma” or “Grandpa”.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Getting Into Character: The ENTJ (Extravert, Intuitive, Thinker, Judger)
Today we continue our specific look at the sixteen types in the MBTI line-up. This is going to be so fun, because even if this is not your particular label, more than likely you will recognize someone you know and love revealed on the page. I need to let you know that this is NOT a professional opinion or blog—I’m just teaching you what I've learned over more than ten years of studying personality.
I’m not going to repeat my description of the dominant preferences and such, but if you haven’t been following along, go back and read the beginning of the first week’s post, which you will find under the April archives (The ESTP). I’ve highlighted the part you need to read in green, so you can easily catch up.
Last week we looked at the ISFPs', inward-energized analytical, logical, fact-based approach to life. This week we will change every letter and see if ENTJs are truly the polar opposite of our friends from last week. ENTJs are planners, visioneers, and problem-solvers who are adept at bringing people along to work out the ideas they have stirring in their minds.
Living Life with an ENTJ: ENTJs are known for their skilled leading, their ability to bring order out of chaos and logic into problems, by stepping into leadership roles when they see a need. Their ideas are oriented toward the future and geared toward meeting a need, achieving a goal, or solving a problem. They are adept at stimulating others to do what's necessary to get the job done. Their Thinking and Judging influences allow them to think both logically and objectively about situations and then express their thoughts and judgements in clear, concise, and creative ways. Often their work becomes their life as they strive toward the goals and achievements they've set for themselves. They don't take "no" for an answer and they are natural skeptics. ENTJs are able to see how the parts of an organization, object, or situation relate to the whole, which enables them to develop strategies for planning, goal-setting, and finding solutions.
Career/Service Area Choices for an ENTJ: Since ENTJs are so skilled at focusing on the future, they also enjoy ministry/volunteer/career opportunities that allow them to use these gifts. ENTJs are also results-minded people with a global perspective and who excel at leadership, so they should keep that in mind when seeking out service or career options. Some ministries or volunteer positions that might appeal to ENTJs are anything to do with finances such as fund-raising, investing, and finance. Evaluating and developing projects often are a strong-suit, so ENTJs might look for opportunities to serve on committees for building projects or strategy sessions for organizations. Some careers that often include a high percentage of ENTJs include: administrators, attorneys, consultants, credit investors, designers, engineers, managers, mortgage bankers, systems analysts, teachers/professors (especially of adults), and human relations/resources.
Free Time for an ENTJ: Often for the ENTJ, their work is their play. If they engage in leisure activities, it usually has a purpose toward meeting long-range goals they've set for themselves. ENTJs are busy and don't enjoy not having anything to do. Don't look for them to sit still for long. They also prefer to spend time with others, so most of their free time is spent in a group setting. ENTJs tend to be competitive and they love to debate, so you will likely see this show up in their hobbies and interests. ENTJs prefer to participate in regularly scheduled activities as opposed to spur-of-the-moment endeavors.
Warnings for the ENTJ: Too much of any good thing can be a bad thing, so here are some things ENTJs need to beware of: Since much of their time is spent looking toward the future, ENTJs can allow this to interfere with their leadership and personal relationships. They often can't let go of their goals and cringe under anything that they feel lacks purpose. ENTJs tend to demand competency from themselves, but this can spill over into demanding it from everyone around them and sometimes makes them seem like professional critics. Or on the flip-side of that, they may blame themselves when something fails, thinking their own incompetency caused the failure. ENTJs are zealous, but this enthusiasm can lead them to make decisions hastily and to railroad others in the process. They can become so focused that they discount others' needs and appear impatient. ENTJs are often accused of being emotionally cold. They fear losing control of their emotions and are uncomfortable in situations that are too emotionally charged.
Spiritual Helps for the ENTJ: ENTJs will likely enjoy spiritual settings that allow for rigorous study, debate, and discussion. They will want to have clearly defined principles and purposes for their faith and will often pursue scientific means to support their beliefs. Born leaders, ENTJs enjoy taking headship of projects and experiences that allow people to deepen their faith while doing or serving in some capacity. ENTJs also enjoy times of meditation and prayer.
What Others Say about the ENTJ: Known for their logical, controlled, objective, and planned thinking, ENTJs can come across as critical and tough. However, when tempered, ENTJs strong personality may be described as strategic, challenging, and decisive. ENTJs are also heralded as being fair in their dealings with others. Other personality types appreciate the ENTJ for their leadership and visionary qualities.
Okay, who do you know that is an ENTJ? Let me hear from you if you are!
Next week, let's change just one letter (the N to an S) and see what difference that crazy little guy makes!
I’m not going to repeat my description of the dominant preferences and such, but if you haven’t been following along, go back and read the beginning of the first week’s post, which you will find under the April archives (The ESTP). I’ve highlighted the part you need to read in green, so you can easily catch up.
Last week we looked at the ISFPs', inward-energized analytical, logical, fact-based approach to life. This week we will change every letter and see if ENTJs are truly the polar opposite of our friends from last week. ENTJs are planners, visioneers, and problem-solvers who are adept at bringing people along to work out the ideas they have stirring in their minds.
Living Life with an ENTJ: ENTJs are known for their skilled leading, their ability to bring order out of chaos and logic into problems, by stepping into leadership roles when they see a need. Their ideas are oriented toward the future and geared toward meeting a need, achieving a goal, or solving a problem. They are adept at stimulating others to do what's necessary to get the job done. Their Thinking and Judging influences allow them to think both logically and objectively about situations and then express their thoughts and judgements in clear, concise, and creative ways. Often their work becomes their life as they strive toward the goals and achievements they've set for themselves. They don't take "no" for an answer and they are natural skeptics. ENTJs are able to see how the parts of an organization, object, or situation relate to the whole, which enables them to develop strategies for planning, goal-setting, and finding solutions.
Career/Service Area Choices for an ENTJ: Since ENTJs are so skilled at focusing on the future, they also enjoy ministry/volunteer/career opportunities that allow them to use these gifts. ENTJs are also results-minded people with a global perspective and who excel at leadership, so they should keep that in mind when seeking out service or career options. Some ministries or volunteer positions that might appeal to ENTJs are anything to do with finances such as fund-raising, investing, and finance. Evaluating and developing projects often are a strong-suit, so ENTJs might look for opportunities to serve on committees for building projects or strategy sessions for organizations. Some careers that often include a high percentage of ENTJs include: administrators, attorneys, consultants, credit investors, designers, engineers, managers, mortgage bankers, systems analysts, teachers/professors (especially of adults), and human relations/resources.
Free Time for an ENTJ: Often for the ENTJ, their work is their play. If they engage in leisure activities, it usually has a purpose toward meeting long-range goals they've set for themselves. ENTJs are busy and don't enjoy not having anything to do. Don't look for them to sit still for long. They also prefer to spend time with others, so most of their free time is spent in a group setting. ENTJs tend to be competitive and they love to debate, so you will likely see this show up in their hobbies and interests. ENTJs prefer to participate in regularly scheduled activities as opposed to spur-of-the-moment endeavors.
Warnings for the ENTJ: Too much of any good thing can be a bad thing, so here are some things ENTJs need to beware of: Since much of their time is spent looking toward the future, ENTJs can allow this to interfere with their leadership and personal relationships. They often can't let go of their goals and cringe under anything that they feel lacks purpose. ENTJs tend to demand competency from themselves, but this can spill over into demanding it from everyone around them and sometimes makes them seem like professional critics. Or on the flip-side of that, they may blame themselves when something fails, thinking their own incompetency caused the failure. ENTJs are zealous, but this enthusiasm can lead them to make decisions hastily and to railroad others in the process. They can become so focused that they discount others' needs and appear impatient. ENTJs are often accused of being emotionally cold. They fear losing control of their emotions and are uncomfortable in situations that are too emotionally charged.
Spiritual Helps for the ENTJ: ENTJs will likely enjoy spiritual settings that allow for rigorous study, debate, and discussion. They will want to have clearly defined principles and purposes for their faith and will often pursue scientific means to support their beliefs. Born leaders, ENTJs enjoy taking headship of projects and experiences that allow people to deepen their faith while doing or serving in some capacity. ENTJs also enjoy times of meditation and prayer.
What Others Say about the ENTJ: Known for their logical, controlled, objective, and planned thinking, ENTJs can come across as critical and tough. However, when tempered, ENTJs strong personality may be described as strategic, challenging, and decisive. ENTJs are also heralded as being fair in their dealings with others. Other personality types appreciate the ENTJ for their leadership and visionary qualities.
Okay, who do you know that is an ENTJ? Let me hear from you if you are!
Next week, let's change just one letter (the N to an S) and see what difference that crazy little guy makes!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Lessons from a Time Machine
“This is the machine that I will make to travel me to the year 2019. By then I will be 21. So I will be able to be moved out and leave this horrible place.”
This is the note we found dangling from our second-story stairway railing, paper-clipped to the belt of a camouflage robe, size 14. My hubby sent the kids to bed early, obviously ticking off Justice, who used the opportunity to use that word power I keep telling you about.
I posted this to Facebook, where it led to a discussion of just how good our kids have it and they don’t even realize it. Contentment is hard for little people. Contentment is hard for us big people, too.
That discussion reminded me that lack of contentment is as old as Moses. No, literally, I mean, as old as Moses. God reminded me that His kids had trouble with this one, so it should come as no surprise when my kiddos struggle there, too. It also should come as no surprise to me that God has also been working in my heart concerning satisfaction, so why wouldn’t He use my kids to hammer home that lesson? But it must be a pretty important lesson we all need to learn, because God sure talks about it a lot.
Remember way back in the Old Testament when the Israelites struggled as slaves in Egypt? (Think Prince of Egypt.) They moaned, they begged, they pleaded with God to come to their rescue. Send us a Deliverer, they implored. Finally, God sent Moses, an old man by this time, back to the land of his youth to lead His people to the Promised Land. After some pretty amazing plagues and a quick escape, the people were on their way.
In the desert, God provided them with a cloud to lead them by day and a pillar of fire to show them the way at night. He parted the Red Sea so they could escape once again from the angry Egyptians and then wiped out the entire army lest they hamper their progress again. He gave them food to eat that they didn’t even have to cook. He kept their clothes and even their shoes from wearing out. He provided water when they thirsted.
They had it made in the shade, right? Wrong—or so they thought. The Israelites were not content. They wanted to go back. The same people who had begged God to hear their cries for mercy and deliverance stood in the middle of the desert and wished to go back to the slavery that had held them captive for 400 years.
Justice wrote his “Time Machine” note sitting in a clean bed, in his warm room, with a full belly, in a house that is paid for and full of people who love him. The Israelites had everything they needed (except a little variety) yet they turned their eyes away from the very thing they had wanted so much, back toward the circumstances they longed to be rid of once and for all.
Have you ever done that? I have. Remember when you couldn’t wait to be married; to have someone to share the rest of your life? Are you content in the marriage He’s given you now? Do you now look at your husband or wife and wish he or she were someone else? Do you think longingly of the days when no one put their expectations on you? Do you even wonder why God allowed you to marry this person in the first place?
How many years did you long to hold a baby of your own in your arms? How long did you try, jumping through hoops, to finally get pregnant? How are you doing with your attitude toward those children God blessed in to your home? Do you wish them out the door to school every morning? Do you pass them off to your spouse or grandma or a babysitter any chance you get? Do you wish for the days when you could sleep till noon and nobody chewed your gum or played in your make-up or spilled milk on your floor?
What about that job you trained for, prayed for, studied for, and planned for since you were barely twenty-years-old? Are you still thanking God for providing it? Are you content that it pays your bills, puts food on your table, and clothes on your back? Or do you bad-mouth your employer, employees, or co-workers every chance you get? Do you count down the days until retirement? Do you slack off and only give half an effort?
Or that house that you fell in love with the first time you walked through it. Are you still rejoicing in the roof over your head? Or are you scheming about how to move up to a bigger house or ritzier neighborhood? Do you constantly complain about the squeaky floor or the make-you-want-to-cuss storm windows or the lack of storage space?
The list could go on and on. I'm not talking about those weak moments we all have when we throw a pity party and then pick ourselves back up and go on. I'm talking about a lifestyle of discontentment. Ask God to show you where you lack contentment. But don’t ask it lightly—because if you ask, He’s likely to show you and it won’t be pretty. Let’s seek to be people who are content with what we have been given. It is only then that we will succeed in training our kids to follow suit.
Paul said in Philippians, 4: 11, 12: I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Let's give up the idea of a Time Machine that can travel us to a time when we can truly be happy and strive to be happy in the here and now.
This is the note we found dangling from our second-story stairway railing, paper-clipped to the belt of a camouflage robe, size 14. My hubby sent the kids to bed early, obviously ticking off Justice, who used the opportunity to use that word power I keep telling you about.
I posted this to Facebook, where it led to a discussion of just how good our kids have it and they don’t even realize it. Contentment is hard for little people. Contentment is hard for us big people, too.
That discussion reminded me that lack of contentment is as old as Moses. No, literally, I mean, as old as Moses. God reminded me that His kids had trouble with this one, so it should come as no surprise when my kiddos struggle there, too. It also should come as no surprise to me that God has also been working in my heart concerning satisfaction, so why wouldn’t He use my kids to hammer home that lesson? But it must be a pretty important lesson we all need to learn, because God sure talks about it a lot.
Remember way back in the Old Testament when the Israelites struggled as slaves in Egypt? (Think Prince of Egypt.) They moaned, they begged, they pleaded with God to come to their rescue. Send us a Deliverer, they implored. Finally, God sent Moses, an old man by this time, back to the land of his youth to lead His people to the Promised Land. After some pretty amazing plagues and a quick escape, the people were on their way.
In the desert, God provided them with a cloud to lead them by day and a pillar of fire to show them the way at night. He parted the Red Sea so they could escape once again from the angry Egyptians and then wiped out the entire army lest they hamper their progress again. He gave them food to eat that they didn’t even have to cook. He kept their clothes and even their shoes from wearing out. He provided water when they thirsted.
They had it made in the shade, right? Wrong—or so they thought. The Israelites were not content. They wanted to go back. The same people who had begged God to hear their cries for mercy and deliverance stood in the middle of the desert and wished to go back to the slavery that had held them captive for 400 years.
Justice wrote his “Time Machine” note sitting in a clean bed, in his warm room, with a full belly, in a house that is paid for and full of people who love him. The Israelites had everything they needed (except a little variety) yet they turned their eyes away from the very thing they had wanted so much, back toward the circumstances they longed to be rid of once and for all.
Have you ever done that? I have. Remember when you couldn’t wait to be married; to have someone to share the rest of your life? Are you content in the marriage He’s given you now? Do you now look at your husband or wife and wish he or she were someone else? Do you think longingly of the days when no one put their expectations on you? Do you even wonder why God allowed you to marry this person in the first place?
How many years did you long to hold a baby of your own in your arms? How long did you try, jumping through hoops, to finally get pregnant? How are you doing with your attitude toward those children God blessed in to your home? Do you wish them out the door to school every morning? Do you pass them off to your spouse or grandma or a babysitter any chance you get? Do you wish for the days when you could sleep till noon and nobody chewed your gum or played in your make-up or spilled milk on your floor?
What about that job you trained for, prayed for, studied for, and planned for since you were barely twenty-years-old? Are you still thanking God for providing it? Are you content that it pays your bills, puts food on your table, and clothes on your back? Or do you bad-mouth your employer, employees, or co-workers every chance you get? Do you count down the days until retirement? Do you slack off and only give half an effort?
Or that house that you fell in love with the first time you walked through it. Are you still rejoicing in the roof over your head? Or are you scheming about how to move up to a bigger house or ritzier neighborhood? Do you constantly complain about the squeaky floor or the make-you-want-to-cuss storm windows or the lack of storage space?
The list could go on and on. I'm not talking about those weak moments we all have when we throw a pity party and then pick ourselves back up and go on. I'm talking about a lifestyle of discontentment. Ask God to show you where you lack contentment. But don’t ask it lightly—because if you ask, He’s likely to show you and it won’t be pretty. Let’s seek to be people who are content with what we have been given. It is only then that we will succeed in training our kids to follow suit.
Paul said in Philippians, 4: 11, 12: I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Let's give up the idea of a Time Machine that can travel us to a time when we can truly be happy and strive to be happy in the here and now.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Bees in Your Bonnet, Squirrels in Your SUV, and Foxes in Your Vineyard
Dah-dunt… Dah-dunt... Dah-dunt-dah-dunt-dah-dunt.
Do you hear it? It starts out slow and builds in a frenzied crescendo. The theme music from Jaws. There are not many things that can set your heart to fluttering and your blood to pumping like the sight of an enormous shark attacking. In my book, it ranks right up there with black mambos hiding in the eaves of an African hut and the over-grown sewer rat that comes up through the toilet in the middle of the night. (You’ve heard those stories, too, right?) But did you know that bees kill more people each year than sharks?
Our neighbors recently bought their first brand-new vehicle. Up until this point, they've always leased, replacing their car every few years. But now, this is their baby. They were especially careful with it, wanting it to last for years to come. Shortly after they brought their SUV home from the dealership, the entire wiring system shut down. They took it in and it needed repaired. A few weeks, later, the same thing. After a few more weeks and a third complete re-wiring, they discovered the problem. No, the difficulty didn’t rest in the hand of Asian business executives. No terror plot had been launched against them. No street gang had targeted them. They discovered that an unruly posse of squirrels had helped themselves (over and over) to a mid-day snack on their wiring system.
That’s a lesson my kids have taught me. We often ignore the “small” dangers in life, while we run screaming for the “large” ones, when in reality, it is usually the small, unchecked threats that pose a far more dangerous risk to our well-being and theirs too. Our kids fear the boogey-man under that bed, but will tell a stranger on the phone that they are home alone. They fear walking in to the first day of school, but run heedlessly across a crowded parking lot. They refuse to go into the dark basement at night, but wander off aimlessly in the middle of a busy fair.
As parents, we do it too. We drill into our kids’ heads, “Don’t talk to strangers”, yet we leave them at day-care centers, gym childcare facilities, and church nurseries without so much as a thought to who might be taking care of them. We remind them to wash their hands and to not touch anything in public restrooms, but ignore the sassy talk that infects their attitudes. We tell them if a stranger tries to steal them away to kick, bite, and fight, but we allow them to nit-pick their siblings and bite at the self-worth of kids at school and church who are “different”.
We do it in other relationships too. Countless times we focus on the big, flashy, calendar-making parts of a friendship, marriage, or business relationship, all the while, ignoring those day-to-day interactions that make up the whole. In the book of Song of Solomon, the couple reminds us to care for those little things that can sneak by and damage what we've worked so hard to accomplish. “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom". The lover reminds the beloved to put a stop to those “little foxes” before they ruin the relationship they’ve cultivated. Little foxes are cute, but when they are left to run in the vineyard, they chew the tender blossoms, ruining the fruit—the benefits—of the carefully planted and tended vines.
I want to be aware in my parenting, my marriage, my friendships, my work relationships to not allow those “little foxes” (or the bees, or the squirrels) to ruin and destroy what I’ve worked so hard to achieve. Days, months, and years of nipping “foxes” cause children who turn away, spouses who turn to another, friends who turn you off, and employers/associates who turn you down. Don’t make the mistake of spending so much time focused on the big “what ifs”, that you miss the damage being done by the little, seemingly insignificant, things in your reality.
I know I don't always miss those things, and sometimes I do a great job of being consistent and intentional in my dealings with other people. And I know you do, too. But stress, fatigue, depression, and busy-ness are all reasons why sometimes we slack on the things that are important. Be aware today of the real dangers lurking, waiting to steal away the people and relationships that mean the most to you.
When are you most likely to let things slide? What can you do today to keep those "little foxes" out of your vineyard?
Do you hear it? It starts out slow and builds in a frenzied crescendo. The theme music from Jaws. There are not many things that can set your heart to fluttering and your blood to pumping like the sight of an enormous shark attacking. In my book, it ranks right up there with black mambos hiding in the eaves of an African hut and the over-grown sewer rat that comes up through the toilet in the middle of the night. (You’ve heard those stories, too, right?) But did you know that bees kill more people each year than sharks?
Our neighbors recently bought their first brand-new vehicle. Up until this point, they've always leased, replacing their car every few years. But now, this is their baby. They were especially careful with it, wanting it to last for years to come. Shortly after they brought their SUV home from the dealership, the entire wiring system shut down. They took it in and it needed repaired. A few weeks, later, the same thing. After a few more weeks and a third complete re-wiring, they discovered the problem. No, the difficulty didn’t rest in the hand of Asian business executives. No terror plot had been launched against them. No street gang had targeted them. They discovered that an unruly posse of squirrels had helped themselves (over and over) to a mid-day snack on their wiring system.
That’s a lesson my kids have taught me. We often ignore the “small” dangers in life, while we run screaming for the “large” ones, when in reality, it is usually the small, unchecked threats that pose a far more dangerous risk to our well-being and theirs too. Our kids fear the boogey-man under that bed, but will tell a stranger on the phone that they are home alone. They fear walking in to the first day of school, but run heedlessly across a crowded parking lot. They refuse to go into the dark basement at night, but wander off aimlessly in the middle of a busy fair.
As parents, we do it too. We drill into our kids’ heads, “Don’t talk to strangers”, yet we leave them at day-care centers, gym childcare facilities, and church nurseries without so much as a thought to who might be taking care of them. We remind them to wash their hands and to not touch anything in public restrooms, but ignore the sassy talk that infects their attitudes. We tell them if a stranger tries to steal them away to kick, bite, and fight, but we allow them to nit-pick their siblings and bite at the self-worth of kids at school and church who are “different”.
We do it in other relationships too. Countless times we focus on the big, flashy, calendar-making parts of a friendship, marriage, or business relationship, all the while, ignoring those day-to-day interactions that make up the whole. In the book of Song of Solomon, the couple reminds us to care for those little things that can sneak by and damage what we've worked so hard to accomplish. “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom". The lover reminds the beloved to put a stop to those “little foxes” before they ruin the relationship they’ve cultivated. Little foxes are cute, but when they are left to run in the vineyard, they chew the tender blossoms, ruining the fruit—the benefits—of the carefully planted and tended vines.
I want to be aware in my parenting, my marriage, my friendships, my work relationships to not allow those “little foxes” (or the bees, or the squirrels) to ruin and destroy what I’ve worked so hard to achieve. Days, months, and years of nipping “foxes” cause children who turn away, spouses who turn to another, friends who turn you off, and employers/associates who turn you down. Don’t make the mistake of spending so much time focused on the big “what ifs”, that you miss the damage being done by the little, seemingly insignificant, things in your reality.
I know I don't always miss those things, and sometimes I do a great job of being consistent and intentional in my dealings with other people. And I know you do, too. But stress, fatigue, depression, and busy-ness are all reasons why sometimes we slack on the things that are important. Be aware today of the real dangers lurking, waiting to steal away the people and relationships that mean the most to you.
When are you most likely to let things slide? What can you do today to keep those "little foxes" out of your vineyard?
Friday, May 14, 2010
Getting Into Character: The ISFP (Introvert, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiver)
Today we continue our specific look at the sixteen types in the MBTI line-up. This is going to be so fun, because even if this is not your particular label, more than likely you will recognize someone you know and love revealed on the page. I need to let you know that this is NOT a professional opinion or blog—I’m just teaching you what I've learned over more than ten years of studying personality.
I’m not going to repeat my description of the dominant preferences and such, but if you haven’t been following along, go back and read the beginning of the first week’s post, which you will find under the April archives (The ESTP). I’ve highlighted the part you need to read in green, so you can easily catch up.
Last week we looked at the ISTP's, inward-energized analytical, logical, fact-based approach to life. This week we will just tweak one letter, changing the T to an F. ISFPs are gentle, compassionate, behind-the-scenes lovers of the underdog. Let’s see how changing the Thinker label to Feeler changes the personality of the individual.
Living Life with an ISFP: ISFPs are known for their compassion. They have a clear understanding of themselves and possess strong values and convictions. They are in tune with senses and rely on sensory data to reach conclusions. They recognize internal sensations and they also use facts gained from their senses to make decisions. ISFPs delight in nature and often seek to help others appreciate it as well. Often their gifts will reflect both their love of nature and their joy in beauty that awakens their senses through touch, taste, smell, texture, or sound. They are the classic peacemaker, the long-suffering harmony-creator. ISFPs are uncomfortable with conflict and with suffering and will work to alleviate both. ISFPs enjoy working behind the scenes to offer specific and practical helps, especially to people, plants, and animals they deem to be in need. This makes them wonderful friends and they usually enjoy deep relationships that they spend a lot of time nurturing. They enjoy and appreciate life to the fullest and inspire others to do the same.
Career/Service Area Choices for an ISFP: Because of their tendency to help the underdog, ISFPs are drawn to work and ministry opportunities that allow them to help meet the needs of people. They enjoy working in atmospheres of cooperation, flexibility, and adaptability. You may never see an ISFP angry, but if you do, it most likely revolves around someone less fortunate being hurt, taken advantage of, or mistreated. ISFPs happily work in the background, responding to the needs they see. Some popular occupations for ISFPs are bookkeeper, carpenter, personal service worker, clerical/secretary, dental/ medical staff, food service worker, nurse, mechanic, physical therapist, X-ray tech, librarian, teacher, homemaker, clergy/counselor, and trainer. Jobs and service areas that allow them to explore their artistic side will appeal to their senses.
Free Time for an ISFP: ISFPs enjoy leisure activities that allow them to enjoy right now. They are “stop-and-smell-the-roses” people. ISFPs also enjoy doing fun things for the people in their life they care about deeply. This is another reason why they never have a lack of friends! Their free time may or may not include others. They are content to spend time with people, yet their Introversion means they will also need and want time alone. ISFPs may also use some of their free time to volunteer with organizations that allow them to help people in need. ISFPs often take great joy in their pursuits. They may choose activities that allow them to tap into the artistic (sensing) side. While they tend to be quiet, ISFPs are also spontaneous and adaptable to new situations. They infuse joy into all they do.
Warnings for the ISFP: Too much of any good thing can be a bad thing, so here are some things ISTPs need to beware of: Their desire to help others may result in the ISFP neglecting their own needs or putting themselves at the bottom of the list. They need to learn to recognize their own needs and allow themselves to accept help from their many friends. Because of their strong desire for peace, ISFPs may not handle conflict correctly. Instead of meeting it head-on and dealing with a problem, they may attempt to sweep it under the rug and restore harmony at any cost. ISFPs are drawn to a sob story and can be taken advantage of or used by people. ISFPs tend to internalize much of their feelings. They will do well to find trusted people they can share with and get things out in the open. Left inside, their thoughts have a propensity to turn negative. Their behind-the-scenes nature means often they will neglect to take credit due them. ISFPs need to learn to stand up for their own needs and make their desires known.
Spiritual Helps for the ISFP: ISFPs may find themselves the most connected to God when in nature or in spending time in quiet reflection. Often they see God in nature. They may also work out their faith in practically meeting needs of those around them. To grow in their faith, ISFPs may seek out spiritual mentors and role models. Due to their highly sensory nature, ISFPs may enjoy charismatic worship services and styles. ISFPs will also likely benefit from participation in small groups or Bible studies. If ISFPs are in a crowd, they usually prefer not to be singled out, so they may also enjoy corporate worship providing they don’t have to stand out in any way. They will also enjoy learning about the spiritual side of practical matters such as parenting and marriage, especially if it allows them to later use that knowledge to help someone else.
What Others Say about the ISFP: Known as peacemakers and proponents of harmony, ISFPs are loyal and loving friends. They are in their element when they are meeting practical needs of their friends, family, and even strangers. ISFPs are caring, kind, gentle, and modest. ISFPs are understanding and sympathetic. On the flip side, they themselves tend to be tender and sensitive to the words and attitudes of others, which makes them vulnerable to hurt. They quietly go about life, unassuming, and enjoying it as it comes.
Okay, who do you know that is an ISFP? Let me hear from you if you are!
Next week, I’m up for suggestions. Tell me your label (or someone else’s) and I’ll be happy to head in that direction.
I’m not going to repeat my description of the dominant preferences and such, but if you haven’t been following along, go back and read the beginning of the first week’s post, which you will find under the April archives (The ESTP). I’ve highlighted the part you need to read in green, so you can easily catch up.
Last week we looked at the ISTP's, inward-energized analytical, logical, fact-based approach to life. This week we will just tweak one letter, changing the T to an F. ISFPs are gentle, compassionate, behind-the-scenes lovers of the underdog. Let’s see how changing the Thinker label to Feeler changes the personality of the individual.
Living Life with an ISFP: ISFPs are known for their compassion. They have a clear understanding of themselves and possess strong values and convictions. They are in tune with senses and rely on sensory data to reach conclusions. They recognize internal sensations and they also use facts gained from their senses to make decisions. ISFPs delight in nature and often seek to help others appreciate it as well. Often their gifts will reflect both their love of nature and their joy in beauty that awakens their senses through touch, taste, smell, texture, or sound. They are the classic peacemaker, the long-suffering harmony-creator. ISFPs are uncomfortable with conflict and with suffering and will work to alleviate both. ISFPs enjoy working behind the scenes to offer specific and practical helps, especially to people, plants, and animals they deem to be in need. This makes them wonderful friends and they usually enjoy deep relationships that they spend a lot of time nurturing. They enjoy and appreciate life to the fullest and inspire others to do the same.
Career/Service Area Choices for an ISFP: Because of their tendency to help the underdog, ISFPs are drawn to work and ministry opportunities that allow them to help meet the needs of people. They enjoy working in atmospheres of cooperation, flexibility, and adaptability. You may never see an ISFP angry, but if you do, it most likely revolves around someone less fortunate being hurt, taken advantage of, or mistreated. ISFPs happily work in the background, responding to the needs they see. Some popular occupations for ISFPs are bookkeeper, carpenter, personal service worker, clerical/secretary, dental/ medical staff, food service worker, nurse, mechanic, physical therapist, X-ray tech, librarian, teacher, homemaker, clergy/counselor, and trainer. Jobs and service areas that allow them to explore their artistic side will appeal to their senses.
Free Time for an ISFP: ISFPs enjoy leisure activities that allow them to enjoy right now. They are “stop-and-smell-the-roses” people. ISFPs also enjoy doing fun things for the people in their life they care about deeply. This is another reason why they never have a lack of friends! Their free time may or may not include others. They are content to spend time with people, yet their Introversion means they will also need and want time alone. ISFPs may also use some of their free time to volunteer with organizations that allow them to help people in need. ISFPs often take great joy in their pursuits. They may choose activities that allow them to tap into the artistic (sensing) side. While they tend to be quiet, ISFPs are also spontaneous and adaptable to new situations. They infuse joy into all they do.
Warnings for the ISFP: Too much of any good thing can be a bad thing, so here are some things ISTPs need to beware of: Their desire to help others may result in the ISFP neglecting their own needs or putting themselves at the bottom of the list. They need to learn to recognize their own needs and allow themselves to accept help from their many friends. Because of their strong desire for peace, ISFPs may not handle conflict correctly. Instead of meeting it head-on and dealing with a problem, they may attempt to sweep it under the rug and restore harmony at any cost. ISFPs are drawn to a sob story and can be taken advantage of or used by people. ISFPs tend to internalize much of their feelings. They will do well to find trusted people they can share with and get things out in the open. Left inside, their thoughts have a propensity to turn negative. Their behind-the-scenes nature means often they will neglect to take credit due them. ISFPs need to learn to stand up for their own needs and make their desires known.
Spiritual Helps for the ISFP: ISFPs may find themselves the most connected to God when in nature or in spending time in quiet reflection. Often they see God in nature. They may also work out their faith in practically meeting needs of those around them. To grow in their faith, ISFPs may seek out spiritual mentors and role models. Due to their highly sensory nature, ISFPs may enjoy charismatic worship services and styles. ISFPs will also likely benefit from participation in small groups or Bible studies. If ISFPs are in a crowd, they usually prefer not to be singled out, so they may also enjoy corporate worship providing they don’t have to stand out in any way. They will also enjoy learning about the spiritual side of practical matters such as parenting and marriage, especially if it allows them to later use that knowledge to help someone else.
What Others Say about the ISFP: Known as peacemakers and proponents of harmony, ISFPs are loyal and loving friends. They are in their element when they are meeting practical needs of their friends, family, and even strangers. ISFPs are caring, kind, gentle, and modest. ISFPs are understanding and sympathetic. On the flip side, they themselves tend to be tender and sensitive to the words and attitudes of others, which makes them vulnerable to hurt. They quietly go about life, unassuming, and enjoying it as it comes.
Okay, who do you know that is an ISFP? Let me hear from you if you are!
Next week, I’m up for suggestions. Tell me your label (or someone else’s) and I’ll be happy to head in that direction.
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